Shit.
That's about all I can say right now. Since my
life seems to have a knack for being dramatic lately,
I guess we should have a flashback...
It's
the summer of 1985...
I'm
diggin' Michael Jackson, and Billy
Joel....
I'm
at my grandmother's swimming pool being a
moron and screwing around on the
waterslide....
I slip,
crack my tooth on the slide and BAM, half
my tooth is in the water....
NOOO,
I can't just KNOCK it out, I half to sever
it in half. My nerve is all hangin' out,
pretty cool actually. Well I get a a
nice little bond and all is good. If you
look really close you can see the line,
but for the next 15 years of my life - no
biggie. Right, right...of course until
tonight:
YouTube
link added
12.20.07
Chillin'
watchin' TV and I push my bottom teeth against my
top teeth and SNAP. I jump up (because for the
last 15 years this act wasn't cause for this such a
sound), run to the mirror and yup, I felt like I was 9
again. Now there's no nerve because roughly 4 years
ago I had a root canal (Another great story...get an
abcessed tooth ON THE AIR doing talk, all
because of this original BOND, and ALL because when I
was 9 I was a moron) so I'm in no type of pain,
but I'd rather have broken my leg then
this.
So now
what? I'm the male equivalent of Jewel in a town that
only cares about looks. Fix it? RIGHT. As you all know
we're ROLLIN' in it right now. Oh and Jess's benefits
don't kick in for another 85 days.
Presumably
I just deal with it for a few months and go from
there. But I really can't imagine anyone taking
me serious looking like this. I know it's
superficial, but it's like having bad english when
interviewing for a teaching position. Nothing like
going to a talent agency and hearing their
reaction...
"Oh, so
you're from O-HI-O...(snicker, snicker)...and you want
to be a SING-ER"
What a
bitch. It's like one thing after another. I can only
imagine what you at home must think. Do you think I
stage all this to keep it interesting? I mean I
honestly have wondered what the hell I'm gonna do to
keep this entertaining, but somehow shit like this
continues to pop-up. Or off, whatever the case may be.
This is ridiculous...
CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME A LITTLE BREAK?
JUST A LITTLE ONE MAN,
NOT EVEN A BREAK,
HOW 'BOUT A MEETING?
A MEETING IN A ROOM WITH A PIANO,
A CD PLAYER, AND A VCR -
THAT'S ALL I NEED.
AND DON'T LOOK AT MY TOOTH.
Man, if
I could yodel and had big boobs I'd be
rich...
For now,
you can all laugh at the
video
of everyone in this city's impression of "Adam from
O-HI-O"...
This is
Karma for making fun of West Virginia all those years
I just KNOW it...