(This entry is a play on WHERE Marty
got a job, not the fact that he got
Believe it or not, Marty is
the new manager at the Ripley's Museum in Hollywood.
How cool is that? Jess and I went there this
summer when some friends were in town
(I protested it saying it was a waste of money,
but it was pretty fun). Early in the little tour
there's a picture of people making stupid faces, and a
subsequent mirror for you to try and re-enact them.
Little do you realize that it's a two way mirror, and
at the end of the tour, you get to stand there and
watch other people making faces. I of course sat
there for a half an hour. When little kids came up I
would knock on the glass as hard as I could and scare
the poop out of them. I literally had to be dragged
away from it.
So of course for this
entry, I had to get Marty to let me
sneak my camera in and scare the bejeezus
out of some people. So behold a scared
woman, and her boyfriend who quite enjoyed
her fright...and a cameo of
I know this ruins this joke for
others wishing to make fun of you if you
ever come to Hollywood, but that's just
another one ot the perks of following the
4tvs story (don't ask me of the others)...
Marty is pumped to no end. It was getting
a bit scary. He'd been here a month. Marty
and Gary are in a bit of an easier
situation than Jess and I, since they
don't have a car.
If it wasn't for 4tvs,
I honest-to-GOD would not have a car either. Hell
I work at home. Jess would need one, but we
certainly wouldn't need 2.
Believe it or not, Jess and
I have spent $6000 this year alone for insurance.
(sigh) - I could lease ANOTHER camry and a
tercel for the price of my insurance. Admittedly,
getting a speeding ticket in September of '99 is
bad...but not THAT much. Out here no one has any
points on their license. You can go to traffic school
and get the points off your record. And how you can
get a speeding ticket in this town is beyond me.
I have NEVER - EVER seen a cop with a gun. Nor is
it very easy to speed in this traffic. heh. So in
September of 2002 all should be good with our
Believe it or not, Jess met
Leonardo Dicaprio at work the other day. (sigh) I'm
amazed she could continue working. Jess cries at
commercials for Titanic. Apparently he
noticed her gaze and just said: "ya caught me huh..."
He was wearing a baseball cap and glasses trying not
to be noticed. I'm happy for her though...it's cool to
be able to work at a place in which one customer can
make your entire week. Beverly Hills is cool like
that. The chick from The Matrix came in the other day
too. Funny, didn't hear about HER this goddamn much -
Believe it or not, Marty
has one of the coolest perks I've ever heard of. He
can get first dibs at seeing all the tv shows filmed
here in Hollywood. All of them. In January we're going
to "That 70's Show", "The Drew Carey Show", "Spin
City" and "Friends" - how insane is that? Of course
Marty and I picked the shows with THE hottest
chicks on the planet. LOL. In Columbus I was the
king of all perks in our relationship, but he's got me
beat here. Wonder if I can videotape anything?
I doubt it highly. But of course, I will indeed
Believe it or not, the
entire 4tvs rennovation is complete, and I did
the entire thing for $50. Basically the cost of wheels
and spray paint. I decided against boxes after
desigining them on my computer and seeing, they just
looked too BOXY. I actually like the open feel of
the set-up now. So with some fancy cutting and some
ingenuity, it is done. I'll leave the specifics for
the next entry...
Believe it or not, the
set-up time will now be 5 MINUTES. You heard that
right. I will be able to set-up 4tvs in 5
minutes. From 1 hour, to 5 minutes. It is incredible.
Let me proclaim one thing:
"THE INVENTOR OF THE ZIP-TIE IS THE GREATEST MAN ON THE PLANET"
This invention single-handedly made the rennovation of
4tvs possible. You ever used these things? Little
plastic ties that lock? Wow. Tony, I thought of
ya every step of the way. Hell yeeeah.
Believe it or not, Tony
(Promotions Director at CD101) and I set up the
Pearl Jam remote in Cleveland with over 1,000 of these
babies. We strung ISDN telephone cord for a half a
mile to the site and were the ONLY radio station
broadcasting from the concert. It sounded so good,
people thought we were kidding...believe it or
Believe it or not, I've
made more money on Star Wars Blew ($11.63) than
I have on every single CD project I've ever done
COMBINED. I've only sold 8 (though I'm waiting for 2
of those to send their checks), but because the
production costs were so low, I was able to pull it
off. It makes you wonder.....hmmmmm.
Believe it or not, I'm
growing a beard for the winter... Actually I'm saying
that just to piss you off. It was 83 degrees
yesterday, but I am growing a beard. Why? Why you ask?
BECAUSE I CAN. I think 85% of the men
who have a beard will tell you the same. As many of
you know, when I got divorced in '97, the hair on
my chin systematically fell out. By the summer of '98,
huge patches of baldness covered my chin and neck.
Then earlier this year, I noticed it was all back
and POW I grew my goatee back. So I figured
at least once in my life I should grow a full
beard. I assumed it would freak my dad out, since
he shaved his off a few years ago
(GROW IT BACK DAD) - I miss it.
Anyone else go through this? Your dad has a beard for
the first 18 years of your life and then he shaves it
off? He's no longer your father. He's this strange man
who sounds like your dad, and knows all this shit your
dad would've known, but it's not really him...believe
it or not.
Believe it or not, it's
actually 12:45 PM, Monday the 18th, and since
I don't have my video ready, I'm gonna update the
site later in the week.
Believe it or not, you
could care less...lol.
Believe it or not, Jess had
the day off last Saturday and I decided I'd take
her to a movie. We've been SOOOO tight with our
money, and I thought it'd be nice to spend the day out
window shopping and see a movie. There was a couple
ahead of us and I heard the lady in the booth say:
"$19.00 please" - I just stood there frozen.
$9.50 a ticket. It was Saturday at 1 PM. I've never
been more disappointed. I just stood there so mad
at everything. All day I was excited about finally
being able to do something leisurely. $20 for two
people to WALK INTO a movie theater. Forget
the $10 for popcorn. $20 just to get in the door. We
just couldn't justify the money. At that moment,
I wanted so badly to be famous and have money. To
look forward for something all day, and then realize
you just can't afford it is so
Believe it or not, as we
walked from the movie theater, a salvation army guy
(or some other homeless organization - not sure),
asked if I could donate something - I said: "I'm
sorry man, I can't..."
Believe it or not, he said:
"Well enjoy the holidays...if you
Believe it or not, I
stopped and stood there for about 22 seconds.
I was enraged. Having just been humiliated by not
being able to go to the movies with Jess, to having
this FUCK decide to be snide with me because
I won't give him some money...it was incredible
the anger I felt. I don't really know where it
came from. I pictured jumping on the guy and
pummeling him. The audacity of him to make that remark
with the smugness - oh my god. I restrained myself as
I played the future events in my head if I were
to go at him. I was gonna just confront him, but
I swear I would've knocked his ass off that
Believe it or not, as I
walked back past him to our car I found a quarter
on the ground. I picked it up, and laughed my ass
off. Guess what he wasn't getting.
Believe it or not, we took
that $20 we would've spent at the movies, and bought
the 2 disc Special Edition Gladiator DVD and enjoyed
it at home (great movie by the way) - with some
air-popped popcorn. Someday we'll be able to blow $20
without a care, but not this year.
Believe it or not, I'm
truly tired of thinking these up, 'and I need to
design some things. So I'm out. Be on the lookout for
the next entry with the brand new 4tvs setup to bring
us into 2001. As well the year end 100th entry on the
31st. Hard to believe ain't it...