- Ahhh, that's
better...I thought I'd change things up for the rest
of the newsletter. Got a lot to tell you.
- Ok, this whole
mailing list debacle. What the hell is up Adam's ass?
Well, for those of you not on the mailing list (if
you'd like to be, email
sent out 3 emails asking the members if they'd like to
stay on the list, this email being the absolute last
one. I honestly just wanted to stop bugging
people that didn't want to read it. There were 250
people on the list, and I knew from the counters
and such on the site, that about 50 of you were
reading them. It's frustrating to put the amount of
work I do into these entries (videos and such)
and know that about 20% of the people I'm sending it
to even see it. So I figured I'd just ask people if
they wanted to stay on the list to reply. As of now, a
week since the first email went out, I have 70
people on the new list. QUITE a jump. So obviously I
was correct in my assumptions. That's 180 people GONE.
But what kills me about all of this is how some people
responded. With the attitude of: "The hell's up your
ass?" and "Oh do you need your ego stroked today?
Wanna see how many people like you?" - I mean for
cryin' out loud people I was trying to be nice.
But I'm glad those people responded that way so
I could remove them from my list. LOL.
- Now I will admit,
this journal/journey is as much for me as it is for
you. I want this to be something cool to look
back on = FOR ME, but I also want it to be an
inspiration for others. I do want people to enjoy it.
I also find an incredible amount of motivation in the
people following my story. The ones who have supported
me for so long. To know there are people back in
Columbus, or hell all over the country waiting to see
what happens next. It really does keep me going. But I
want the list to be people who care about the 4tvs
Adam, not the Radio Adam. I am not that guy anymore.
And it's obvious to see that about 180 of you still
thought I was. And ya know what? That's fine. I
would MUCH rather have a smaller list of people that
care than a huge list that includes people that don't.
"A nice happy family" as I stated previously. As well,
I'm gonna just post the entries on the site as I did
before and email everyone the link. If you're that
strapped for time that this bothers you and you can't
click the link, then you'll never be able to read
through my entries anyway. As you all know, I
certainly know how to talk. LOL. So that's the last
I'll speak of the whole mailing list crap.
- Oh wait, one last
thing. I really do want your feedback. I love it. I
love criticism, I love people pointing things out
that I've never thought of before. It's how I've
gotten as far as I have, by listening to what other
people think. But please for cryin' out loud have a
point. Don't just give blanket opinions or snide
comments and expect me to do anything but erase you
from my mind and move on. I've got enough to worry
about without having to read this:
want to be on the list, even thought the past couple
of entires have
me off a bit. Sometimes you say really offensive
things that people like
just shake my head and remember you are still young in
- That was all that
person said by the way. Just went ahead with the rest
of the email and didn't explain what was meant. I
responded quite SHITTILY and am sure that this person
feels I'm just arrogant and can't accept criticism of
anything I do. So I just wanted to clear the air and
explain that I love criticism, and more than anything
I NEED IT. I'm in an incredible whirlwind
out here, and am constantly trying to keep myself
grounded and make the right decisions. It's incredibly
difficult to do, and comments like the one above piss
me off more than anything on earth.
- It's so strange,
I'm highly aware that there's a large group of people
that believe you change when you get
money/fame/success. Yet another reason I document
the hell out of my life. So if I do attain any of
those things, I'll be able to find the point in which
my ASSHOLISH ways began - LOL - "ENTRY #97 Adam!"
ROFL. (sigh) - My point is, I'm really starting to
believe that's all complete horseshit. Those who "turn
into" assholes when they attain the
money/fame/success, were assholes well before, and the
money just accentuated it. The truth is, the people
around you change, and you in turn have to change from
their actions. Case in point, a year ago, I would've
taken the time to really understand where this person
was coming from and try and clear it up. As it is,
I've written 3 emails and left a phone message, but
now I'm done. I'll have nothing more to do with it. I
can't afford it. I have so many negative things to
conquer in this god-forsaken city, I simply can't deal
with ones that can't further my career - and therin
lies the rub. I just became LA-MAN. I turned my
back on something because it couldn't help ME-ME-ME.
Then again, I've written 3 times, and left a
voicemail, so I did try - but the old Adam
would've gotten to the end of it, and fixed it.
Because honestly, I know it's just a miscommunication.
A strange observation I thought I'd share with
now here's what I really wanted to write about.
I had the show to end all shows last Friday. I
played the Christmas party at our apartment complex,
and the reaction was so incredible. I mean
SO incredible. I couldn't have stacked the
audience any better.
December 8th, 2000 - 9:15 -9:45
miss you john...
- THE SETUP
this is livin'. Getting to set up at noon
for a night performance. Sound
check...beauty. Truly the best 4tvs has
sounded EVER. Got all the levels
right....it was wonderful. Set-up in
Magnolia Apartment's rec-room... Full
spread, both speakers...it was
- THE PERFORMANCE
Out-of-body experience tonight...lemme
tell YOU. LOL. The sound was so good, it
felt like I was listening to a CD. This
was a Christmas show, and a few other
performers went on before me. Playing some
groovin' piano tunes. When I went on. I'm
pretty sure no one knew what to expect.
I didn't want to do too much, so I
just chose to do 2 sets. One to show
I could sing, and one to make people
laugh. I don't know why, but
I always feel I need to start
off with the foundation of singing.
I figure once people respect that,
then the comedy is just icing. Felt
goooood tonight. It's strange, I only
think I'm a good singer when I'm
performing. Is that strange? Like I kinda
sing around the house or whatever, but I'm
always a little surprised when I'm
performing...like I never think I'm
gonna hit the notes, and POW - I do.
Is that arrogant? LOL - oh well I'm being
- THE REACTION
how do I say it....I could've had a
room full of my closest friends and
relatives, and wouldn't have come CLOSE to
the reaction I got tonight. It was so
incredibly loud. Standing ovation after the
sets. Laughing at every imaginable moment.
Every freakin' joke. Now, the house is
rootin' for me for sure...I'm a tenant in
their building, so it's like rootin' for the
home team, but this was just incredible.
After the last set - they were screamin' so
loud, I actually said: "Jesus...gimme a job
or somethin'..." LOL. As if to say "ya like
me THAT much, I could use some work"
LOL. Afterwards quite a few people were
excited and wanted to help. Lots of contacts,
and the beauty of it was it was respect from
true entertainers. These were all comedians,
musicians, or writers. Even met a guy who's
goin' off to Chicago to meet with the manager
of the band "Chicago". Good friends with him.
People wondering if I can do comedy clubs,
and parties and such. Just overwhelming.
What's nice is that Edna (apartment manger)
is cool with letting me set-up and play there
for whomever I need to. So if there's someone
important I'd like to come see the show,
I can do it around their schedule and
set-up in the rec-room. That's priceless.
Very exciting. At one point during the
LIFE set, I was turned around (in
embarassment for the genitals song - quite
funny...), and I was just thinking
"I have to make it..." Almost in
frustration...you know? The audience is
reacting so well...and this isn't a bunch of
drunks from ohio (though they were all pretty
"happy"), these were entertainers in LA.
I just kept thinking - I have to be
able to pull this off. I have everything
in the plam of my hand...I just have to
be able to do this. This whole 4tvs journey
has to have a happy ending. I'm in the right
place at the right time. So it's all good
right now, but I can't help but think - in a
few years I may be looking back at this night
when I was SO SURE - and wondering
what the hell went wrong...ya know? But for
now - I stay elated, I keep on pushing - and
I MAKE THE DAMN boxes for the
4tvs for an easier set-up! LOL.
am certain, I will gain a contact from this show that
will put me into the limelight that I need to be
in. It was quite tremendous.
of tremendous, Letters
has gotten over 300 hits in 5 days. Criminey. I guess
putting the link on Beatles message boards was a good
idea. WOW. I'm still a bit low on letters, but many
people have written me and said they wanted to take
their time. Very cool. Feel free to
I guess my final thoughts on the election may be
in order. Now that it's over, you can put in
perspective how screwy the law is. It basically states
this: A candidate may ask for a hand recount, but
there's no way in hell we'll be able to do it in time,
so nevermind...LOL. We, the state of Florida, have no
real standards for this recount, nor will we be able
to settle all the lawsuits from your opponent before
it's time to choose the electors... I guess what kills
me more than anything, is that Bush tried so hard to
stop the recounts. The right thing to do would've been
to go to court to DETERMINE THE STANDARDS
for the handcount. A handcount was the obvious
solution to the problem, as even Bush had signed into
law in his state, and all that really needed to be
fought over were what kind of chads to be counted.
Instead the republicans stalled and stalled (and
believe me, the democrats would've done the same
thing), until the supreme court had no choice. The
fact that their decision even mentioned the fact that
there "wasn't enough time" to do the hand recount just
floors me. How 'bout we MAKE time to get it right?
(sigh) and on top of all that -
I'M ALONE here. Most everyone now believes
Gore was being the asshole and Bush had won all along.
Heh, gotta hand it to his public relations team, they
sure as hell knew how to sway the country. I predict
that sometime next year....those votes WILL be
counted, and then we'll REALLY be in some shit. I just
can't understand why Bush wouldn't want to take the
time to hand recount that whole state. Either way
I feel Bush will be better for our economy, and
that's all I've ever given a shit about. Bush will
talk a big game (like his stupid laundry list
tonight), and won't get a damn thing done. Which is
just PERFECT for Wall Street.
I think that's it. Again, check out palaur
when you have the time, and as well don't forget about
I can still send it in time for Christmas!