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8:13 AM, Friday, March 28th, 2025   My favorite video. Just finished watching this and it's probably the happiest I've felt at the end of a video...like ever? Why is this so important to me? I think it's because it communicates something I've been unable to share for over a year: what it feels like talking to Hef about everything. Weird right? Like - yeah, you set up a camera and you talk, big deal...   ...but him even agreeing to this is huge, because he's just not the "on-camera" type... and for him to open up and talk about his feelings about everything and how/why he's helped? It's just so important.   I know, I know - this is completely a result of the "friend" and that whole breakdown and you're all just witnessing my therapy therein... but this shit MATTERS for a company. Accountability MATTERS. This podcast is how we always talk to each other. I think that's more what this video means to me: I talk a certain way, he talks a certain way - and you can feel the... what is it. Goddamn I'm rambling... the honesty? Maybe that's it? I got it:   IT'S NOT TRANSACTIONAL.   For an ENTIRE YEAR this dude has vouched for me in countless meetings when it didn't benefit him in his job/career at all. He's in broadcast stuff - this is completely outside of that part of the company and he helped me all year. I think that's what you can tell when you watch this: I trust him, completely. That is a hard fucking sentence to write after what happened with someone I was far closer to and trusted far more than him. To be able to meet someone RIGHT after that and be able to say that sentence with the amount of residual pain I have? That's a big deal for me.   But the other part of this of course is I just said this ONLINE in public in a space that has never been offline in over 25 years. He should now know, unequivocally, where I stand and hopefully trust me as we go forward.   If this essay isn't a microcosm of what 25 years in Hollywood does to your fucking brain I don't know what is. LMFAO. I should post the video now...     I'm literally watching this again, flat, while finishing this entry. I'm just thrilled I have this documented and can show my friends and family the relationship... OOOOH! Maybe that's it! Talya has never really had a conversation with Hef... they met, but everything has been through me. Same with everyone else I relay info to - hell and even the other VR filmmakers that are following this story. Now? They can see it. Now, they understand the ups and downs a bit more and why I'm excited. After watching that conversation there's this gut feeling, given his background, that this is gonna work. The ducks are obviously in a row and ya just gotta believe a little bit longer...   A little, bit, longer.   Adam