- 3:37 PM, Wednesday,
January 29th, 2025:
-
- I'm at a loss for
words and at a loss for how to document this.
I kinda feel like I lock the video but tiptoe within
the entry? Yeah, that'll probably work 'cause I kinda
just said it ALL in the video. Someday, that will go
here...
-
-
- As I say in the
video: this is the literal OPPOSITE of what
happend in 2024. A year that started with all the promise
in the world and then had the rug pulled out 2 weeks in.
2025 started as tepidly as you could imagine after a full
year of letdowns and 3 weeks later? EVERYTHING is on the
table.
-
- So what can I say and
what have I said before. Let me peruse the past
journey videos. Ok I've mentioned an Andy and that he
texted Pete Carroll on the spot about seeing my stuff
last month. Didn't happen but I did get in touch with...
have I said his name? Lemme see what I called
him....
-
Adjunct Professor
of Entrepreneurship at the USC Marshall School of
Business
-
- Well a quick google
search and some looking around and this is easily found.
(sigh) You have to understand the EXTREME PTSD
I have when talking about ANY of this. Because of
this 25 year project I'm somewhat indebted to keep people
up on everything. And for me - I need this type of
documentation to understand the journey I took to get
wherever I'm getting. Does that make sense?
-
- The problem is I
don't know how any of this is going to turn out. So right
now I'm so thrilled, this guy was so cool, so genuine, so
nice and it feels like the world is opening up. If
something changes I'm still kinda forced to tell that
chapter, ya know? I don't want to fuck ANYTHING up, in
fact I don't even want to make this an entry right now -
I want to hide and do everything right and just wait
so I don't have egg on my face...
-
- ...BUT THAT'S WHY THE JOURNEY IS MY THERAPY.
I share the truth, I hold myself accountable to
every word and action and I celebrate the maybes and the
egg on my face cannot be hidden. It's why I can keep
going forever: I lean into everything, experience it,
document it and keep going.
-
- BUT THIS IS PUBLIC.
So if this dude happens to read this
DAMN NEAR HIDDEN 1990s website he's gonna
feel some sort of pressure, right? You don't put people
on blast even when they say they're gonna do
GOOD things because maybe that shouldn't be
public?!?! Like I avoided saying Hef's name for MONTHS
and honestly STILL don't feel super comfortable with
it until he's ready to jump on camera during a podcast,
ya know? I just hate sharing ANYTHING that isn't
UNIQUELY mine to share.
-
- And of course
ALL of this comes from the PTSD from the NFL
where incredibly it blew up
BEFORE I WROTE the entry and I had to just
lock everything from the beginning (helluva way to
start).
I SAY ALL THAT TO SAY THIS:
-
- Dude is very close to
Pete, he dug it, he knows exactly what he wants me to
shoot of Pete and the class and Pete will be seeing this
on one of the Thursdays he comes down in the next 12
weeks. I was incorrect thinking Pete was just a
speaker on week one, this is in fact HIS class
WITH ****. Fuck I wrote his name. UGH. Anyway, while
they are having guest speakers, this is Pete's class. So
this wasn't a one-time "oh shit I missed it because of
the fires", it's on-going until April.
-
- Now I'm tiptoeing
around all of this and fuck am probably just gonna lock
this because I presume **** is pretty protective of his
relationship with Pete and doesn't really know me. He may
start to feel strange, may change his mind... I mean
Pete had his wife and one other person with him at his
press conference on Monday. That other person was ****.
Ferfuksake. If I was ****? I would be super reticent
about bringing someone in. But he did say he would. I
actually enjoyed talking to him and straight-up? It was
refreshing to hear about their friendship. I mean from
this guy's perspective, he was doing a class with his
friend who was an ex-coach one week and the next it's the
head coach for the Vegas Raiders and he's in Vegas with
him going WTF? AND he's still doing the class!?!??! What
an adventure for that dude.
-
- So yeah, this is
locked. Sorry to the 11 people that read this, it will
obviously be unlocked at some point (presuming I'm able
to show this to Pete and shoot what **** wanted me to
shoot) but for now? I just have to protect myself.
Literally ANYTHING could change this and keep this from
happening.
I don't believe it will, but welcome to how my brain
works. Meanwhile I have to prepare like it's a done deal
- make a reel specifically for Pete and probably read his
book and study the man. Fuck, my brain has to accept that
I'll be going to Vegas at some point and showing this to
Tom Brady. That's what's on the table here. Like - that's
fucking insane.
But here we are. Welcome to 2025.
-
- Adam
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