- 2:51 PM, Friday,
October 20th, 2023:
- What, the hell,
was this. I've never been more embarrassed to share a
video but more certain it needed to be
- So as a basic
psychological study of my own brain... this is one
I wasn't prepared for. I guess I've been storin'
a LOT of stress in my body for the last year.
This emotion came out of NOWHERE. Every happy moment
has been a "HELL YEAH!" moment. Happy! STRONG!
- This was a
release. This was that thing I hold inside me and
don't really talk about: everything I attempt
requires DEEP faith that I will somehow make it work.
Zero guarantees, zero roadmaps... just faith. And even
though I've been doing that for... goddamn, 30 years
now? It doesn't necessarily get easier... I just get
more adept at compartmentalizing the scope of the
risk. The moment that trailer ended. Actually come to
think of it, I watched it once in "editor" mode
and found a mistake and was looking for more so I
didn't actually watch it...
- ...then I watched
it again and whew. It's undeniable. There isn't a
human that works at any sports company, NBA, NFL, MLB
or any distribution outlets, Meta,
Apple, Amazon... that won't react positively to
that and believe it's an asset. It's undeniable. It's
the greatest feeling of "I've done it" that I've ever
had. Like you can have those at 21 and, well, you're
wrong. You have that feeling because you don't
understand the process and, well, you're just wrong.
I mean I had it with CBS (and of course there
were some moments but in the end, it crashed) but this
is different. I'm trying to push the validity of a
format. I've been trying for so, freaking, long. In
almost a complete vacuum. No good ways to gauge
interest or support, every YouTuber ignores me,
there's not even comments on the videos - like... it
has required me to just believe it's right. For so
long. They will see this next week at the NFL. They
will shit their pants because there isn't anything
CLOSE to this. They won't be able to get another
production house to do it... because no one is
DOING it like this.
- Which means, here
we are. I need a lawyer. I need some
trademarks. Shit is about to get really crazy. But
I had one moment to feel that release. It was a
quick moment and my strange ass turned my phone on
within 11 seconds because that's my pattern for 25
- But yeah, this is
really it. That trailer BROKE me. But I'm good.