2:51 PM, Friday, October 20th, 2023:
What, the hell, was this. I've never been more embarrassed to share a video but more certain it needed to be shared...
So as a basic psychological study of my own brain... this is one I wasn't prepared for. I guess I've been storin' a LOT of stress in my body for the last year. This emotion came out of NOWHERE. Every happy moment has been a "HELL YEAH!" moment. Happy! STRONG! EXCITED!
This was a release. This was that thing I hold inside me and don't really talk about: everything I attempt requires DEEP faith that I will somehow make it work. Zero guarantees, zero roadmaps... just faith. And even though I've been doing that for... goddamn, 30 years now? It doesn't necessarily get easier... I just get more adept at compartmentalizing the scope of the risk. The moment that trailer ended. Actually come to think of it, I watched it once in "editor" mode and found a mistake and was looking for more so I didn't actually watch it...
...then I watched it again and whew. It's undeniable. There isn't a human that works at any sports company, NBA, NFL, MLB or any distribution outlets, Meta, Apple, Amazon... that won't react positively to that and believe it's an asset. It's undeniable. It's the greatest feeling of "I've done it" that I've ever had. Like you can have those at 21 and, well, you're wrong. You have that feeling because you don't understand the process and, well, you're just wrong. I mean I had it with CBS (and of course there were some moments but in the end, it crashed) but this is different. I'm trying to push the validity of a format. I've been trying for so, freaking, long. In almost a complete vacuum. No good ways to gauge interest or support, every YouTuber ignores me, there's not even comments on the videos - like... it has required me to just believe it's right. For so long. They will see this next week at the NFL. They will shit their pants because there isn't anything CLOSE to this. They won't be able to get another production house to do it... because no one is DOING it like this.
Which means, here we are. I need a lawyer. I need some trademarks. Shit is about to get really crazy. But I had one moment to feel that release. It was a quick moment and my strange ass turned my phone on within 11 seconds because that's my pattern for 25 years. Weird.
But yeah, this is really it. That trailer BROKE me. But I'm good. Let's go.