8:04 PM, Friday, October 13th, 2023:
So the theme for the art/talent show thingee or whatever at Vienna's school was "Hope" this year. You know, elementary school shit like: "I hope we cure cancer." "I'm hopeful we'll end climate change." Vienna writes a poem about pigeons hoping people drop pizza.
Yes. Yes, Vienna. That is exactly right. The judges may not appreciate your absolute lack of hope in anything meaningful - but goddamnit that's hilarious. That's the most inadvertenly irreverent choice I've ever heard a 5th grader make.
So she was gonna make a book of it... but looking at the poem I said: "It'd be an awfully short book, but it'd be a pretty cool cartoon." An idea which she LOVED...
...until this poor girl realizes just, how, much, work, car, fucking, toons, are. But I handed her the ipad and she got to work. She thought she was doin quite well. I helped her break down her poem into each picture but the kicker was? Every damn thing she ever drew, I made her draw TWICE. So that shit wiggled. I told her "listen, it's the fastest way to create movement without actually animating movement."
So she drew, and she drew. She cried. She didn't want to keep drawing and I told her "You're welcome to just take what you already have and make it a book." She didn't like that. So she kept going. She drew and animated every freaking frame of this as well as writing it and voicing it. She did however use the infamous Guillaume Tell: Overture instead of making the music because A) you're allowed to and B) it's perfect. The funny thing is Vienna thought it was cheating using music she didn't also write. She's certainly my kid.
So I present what is the most VIENNA 2 minutes you'll ever see. It's so hard to explain to people how goofy and fun this kid is and I think she succesfully communicated that...
So this is one of those things that they judge where if you get the top award you go to city/regionals/state etc and I can see this going one of two ways: it's so far past the "look at the adorable hopeful kids, they're our future" pieces they wanted so she may get a pat on the head and this won't move on... or it wins everything. I don't see a whole lot of in-between here. But as I told Vienna, it really is off-theme and that USUALLY isn't rewarded in these types of "contests". As someone who has made cool shit that didn't fit a theme (ahem, Trinitrons/Aspen 2001) I feel ya hon. But she doesn't care at all. She LOVES it. Like all that belaboring about how hard animating is? The moment the voice over and music comes in you forget that. She's so happy she didn't make a book.
...but she'll probably never make another cartoon. LOL