4:14 PM, Saturday, December 31st, 2022:
What a year! Foundational year. Exciting year. Here it is...
Man I don't even know what to add to that...
For the first time in a long time I can't really process 2022 fully. Like, the VR stuff makes me feel like it's a pretty crucial year in the trajectory of this project, but it's really a coin flip... I could very well just have it die out because VR adoption just never moves enough. Then again? I love it so much, I bought a MASSIVE new computer and have spent well over $10,000 dedicated to making this possible. Can't see me walking from this anytime soon.
...on the other hand there's the family stuff which seems amazing, but is it just because it's post-COVID? Like, when put all together with other family stuff will it register as a real year of doing stuff or is it just gonna be the norm? 2015-2019 was busy as fuck too.
Ya know, what I really think I'll remember the most from this year is the weight thing. That's an actual fundamental shift in my life that I am certain is forever now. I used to enjoy how well I could almost choose to gain a bit over the holidays, lose a bit when I needed to... Honestly there's 20+ years documented here of me doing just that. This year however, something changed. I couldn't do it. Sure, I'd struggled before but I had good excuses, etc. This time though? I was falling off badly. I was legit 218 at one point and in May I did that awful vlog about truly being concerned about my heart. Hell, I still am. And just because I was able to lose a bulk of that weight for The Journey Volume 2, doesn't mean I'm ok. At my age I just can't depend on that ability anymore. No, I know for certain that I have to log how much I'm eating and moving every day. Forever. Even during holidays, even during vacations. I'm now so good at it, I can estimate very well even without a scale based on previous weighing of stuff in my head. I did that in Escondido this week and it worked out well. But gone is the "let go" rest easy for a couple months and deal with the 25-30 pound weight loss later. I will absolutely have days of my life that I overeat, but I'll count those too. Log it. Then work it off in a short period. It's what my father does and has done for the last 10 years and it's where I am now. I am pushing 50. I am here.
And as I said in the video, incredibly? I didn't gain a pound since I shot 2010 Adam on November 16th at 169.4. In fact I'm down a little less than a pound from that. Of course my goal weight is the 150s and I certainly didn't maintain a weight loss over the holidays, but now? THAT feels like a cheat. Ya know? Maintaining is SO NICE when you're so focused on losing... but I'll return to that focus in the new year. What a luxury to be in the 160s when you start a diet/workout routine instead of 218.2. That's what I was on January 18th, 2022. Amazing.

But again. Every day... forever. I keep drilling that into my brain and I've accepted it. The other "age" issues really give you little else to focus on, ya know? Eyes breaking down, body breaking down... at least when you're thin you can look a bit better than you feel and make-believe your'e in your 30s for a date night or two. It's temporary... but it sure as fuck beats being 70 pounds overweight. Goodness.
What a year...