- 6:27 AM, Sunday,
January 2nd, 2022:
- That title wasn't
meant to be as "poke the bear" as it seems, but there
it is anyway. It's hard to mirror the hopefulness of
last year after what we've been through but the truth
is: things are quite a bit better. Omicron be damned,
we're vaccinated. We feel safe. Part of me almost
wants the exposure to it to give my body the chance to
fight it. Kind of like being a teacher that can't get
a cold anymore because her body has fought off so
many, they don't even stand a chance...
- ...but yeah
there's a part of me that's just poking his head out
and wondering just how everything will fall through
AGAIN, ya know? Lemme throw the video in
- Kinda cool seeing
the background change for the first time... well, ever
in this house. I mean before Talya I sometimes sat in
different places when I did the video - but
there's been such a fundamental shift to the layout of
this house it's cool to capture it mid-transition in
one of these videos knowing it will be done
- I think. Jesus
this is a big project...
- ...and of course
that is where my mind is as we start the new year.
Wanting those kids to get to school so I can put
in the door and slowly work through all these steps.
I'm documenting everything of course, I presume that's
what the next video will show... all of it leading to
actual song production. Something that seems sure to
underwhelm once I start. Ya know? It feels like
the finished construction in and of itself will feel
far more epic than making a song. And that's something
I wonder as well: can I really just do music? Part of
the allure of filmmaking was that it was both. You
make Meeting Michael and then you score it. The music
was a portion of it... so being so focused just on
music production is starting to feel limited, but
I will be interspersing it with so many other
things in the film. As well? That concern is probably
what will make these songs so special: I won't let
them be just songs. There will be stories, there will
be sections - in my head, a lot of these will feel
like little journeys with different types of music
within one song. "Band on the Run" type stuff...
because after 30 years I'm not sure how I can return
to juuuuuuuuuuuuust a song. I think.
- I don't know. I'm
just excited to be so focused on something. I mean,
I'm over a month in and nowhere near where
I thought I'd be and I cannot wait to keep going.
KIDS GET UP SO I CAN START DRILLING SHIT ALREADY.
- Which reminds me
of that other side of things: the kids journey in 2022
- will it ever stop being constant disappointment? We
should be saying goodbye and boarding a plane to come
home today and instead we're trying to be excited
about March but not really believing anything will
actually happen. Hell, we're supposed to go to the
mountains in a couple weeks and play in the snow and
ALL of us think something is going to
prevent that. It's inevitable. It's the 20s.
Everything you have ever believed in might be untrue
the next day. I mean, except for the 4 of us. We're a
great unit, but whew - sure would be nice to be able
to depend on a fucking airline, or a school. Are the
kids gonna finish this school year? Shit, they may not
finish this WEEK. I have zero faith in ANYTHING
at this point. They're considering delaying the start
until 1/10 because of omicron and if they do that...
will they just say fuck it for a month? We don't know.
We stay in the moment and just keep going.
- Which is exactly
what I feel like 2022 is going to be. Attempt shit,
see how the outside forces find a way to knock it
down. Repeat. Like, I'm starting a year looking
forward to 2023. When have I ever typed THAT.