6:27 AM, Sunday, January 2nd, 2022:
That title wasn't meant to be as "poke the bear" as it seems, but there it is anyway. It's hard to mirror the hopefulness of last year after what we've been through but the truth is: things are quite a bit better. Omicron be damned, we're vaccinated. We feel safe. Part of me almost wants the exposure to it to give my body the chance to fight it. Kind of like being a teacher that can't get a cold anymore because her body has fought off so many, they don't even stand a chance...
...but yeah there's a part of me that's just poking his head out and wondering just how everything will fall through AGAIN, ya know? Lemme throw the video in here...
Kinda cool seeing the background change for the first time... well, ever in this house. I mean before Talya I sometimes sat in different places when I did the video - but there's been such a fundamental shift to the layout of this house it's cool to capture it mid-transition in one of these videos knowing it will be done soon.
I think. Jesus this is a big project...
...and of course that is where my mind is as we start the new year. Wanting those kids to get to school so I can put in the door and slowly work through all these steps. I'm documenting everything of course, I presume that's what the next video will show... all of it leading to actual song production. Something that seems sure to underwhelm once I start. Ya know? It feels like the finished construction in and of itself will feel far more epic than making a song. And that's something I wonder as well: can I really just do music? Part of the allure of filmmaking was that it was both. You make Meeting Michael and then you score it. The music was a portion of it... so being so focused just on music production is starting to feel limited, but I will be interspersing it with so many other things in the film. As well? That concern is probably what will make these songs so special: I won't let them be just songs. There will be stories, there will be sections - in my head, a lot of these will feel like little journeys with different types of music within one song. "Band on the Run" type stuff... because after 30 years I'm not sure how I can return to juuuuuuuuuuuuust a song. I think.
I don't know. I'm just excited to be so focused on something. I mean, I'm over a month in and nowhere near where I thought I'd be and I cannot wait to keep going. Like, KIDS GET UP SO I CAN START DRILLING SHIT ALREADY.
Which reminds me of that other side of things: the kids journey in 2022 - will it ever stop being constant disappointment? We should be saying goodbye and boarding a plane to come home today and instead we're trying to be excited about March but not really believing anything will actually happen. Hell, we're supposed to go to the mountains in a couple weeks and play in the snow and ALL of us think something is going to prevent that. It's inevitable. It's the 20s. Everything you have ever believed in might be untrue the next day. I mean, except for the 4 of us. We're a great unit, but whew - sure would be nice to be able to depend on a fucking airline, or a school. Are the kids gonna finish this school year? Shit, they may not finish this WEEK. I have zero faith in ANYTHING at this point. They're considering delaying the start until 1/10 because of omicron and if they do that... will they just say fuck it for a month? We don't know. We stay in the moment and just keep going.
Which is exactly what I feel like 2022 is going to be. Attempt shit, see how the outside forces find a way to knock it down. Repeat. Like, I'm starting a year looking forward to 2023. When have I ever typed THAT. LOL.
Fuckin' 20s.