7:00 AM, Monday, December 27th, 2021:
Maybe it's because I've had so little disappointment the past ten years, maybe it's because I see everything through my kid's eyes... but this ranks as one of the biggest disappointments I've ever experienced...
It's weird to say that considering my life 2000-2010 was massive, earth-shattering disppointments. This isn't a divorce, this isn't a death... but the way it happened is so, fucking, crushing. To say we've looked forward to this for years (haven't been back since 2018) is to say the least. I guess it's like I said in the video: there really is this feeling that I may never see family members again. Even Vienna said to me, which I'm just now grasping: "What if they die before we get to see them?". She said it so matter-of-factly. I just said we have no control over that, we're gonna go back for Spring Break, that's only a couple months away...
...but there is certainly a sense that if they could cancel this 4 hours before takeoff, the entire world is up in the air. I hate the kids are learning this lesson so young. A lesson I learned in my 20s and 30s that NOTHING is certain and EVERYTHING could be pulled away from you... that's not what ya wanna learn at 8 and 9. You need to have a belief and faith that things are going to happen. Things to look forward to. Things to work for. This is scary. It's a very adult lesson for a very adult world.
Now, in the scheme of things? Is there a better week to stay home than the week after Christmas? With new toys to play with? I even promised them I would work on the loft during this extra week (something that was gonna be months away) and try to have it finished before school starts again on the 3rd. They liked that (no pressure Adam, just construct something out of thin fucking air - lol). We did, thankfully, mention 2 days ago that there was a possibility that this would happen as flights were being cancelled because of staff shortages due to COVID. The problem? By the time we got to noon (our flight was at 4:40pm), I said out loud "Shit, if they haven't cancelled it by now, they're not going to because that airplane is already in the air." Late flights are usually at the end of several flights that day. The crew doesn't start their shift at 4:40pm, they END their shift. But clearly someone tested positive and thank the FUCK CHRIST I checked my email to see it was cancelled because we were packing the car and could've VERY easily been in the airport. Like - every SECOND closer to takeoff would've made that worse.
Oh their little tears. Like when kids cry because of stupid shit? You're like, whatever. HAHAHA. I mean, I don't actually say that to them - but they cry about damn near everything sometimes and it does lessen the meaning. But when you see your kid cry about something legit? Like, oh, thinking their grandparents are gonna die before they get to see them again? Yeah that's heavy. That's burned into their brain. That's burned into your brain. They will never forget this feeling.
But we huddled on the floor of that bar and worked it out. We're a strong family. I actually love that the security cameras caught this fuzzy image. You can't hear what we're saying, it's private... but you can feel it. It's why I love the discipline of The Journey. We have to document this. In fact it's probably gonna fuck up the end of the year numbering but that's life. Bombs fall and ya gotta navigate them.
I will make lemonade out of this starting today. Good little lesson there.