8:46 PM, Friday, November 26th, 2021:
I can't believe I'm still even capable of feeling like this.
Of course, today we got the tree, Buckeyes tomorrow... yadda yadda. I'll get into that in the next entry. But #2189, I believe, is a pretty special number. The second part of that Beatles doc today triggered something in my brain that just may have rewritten the entire decade of the 20s for me. Goodness. This feels like the 4tvs idea in 1998, this feels like RentTheDelorean in 2014... and all it is, is a studio.
I jokingly said to Talya, that's what happens when you hear Get Back 17 times and they keep saying "GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED." over and over... but that wasn't really it. Ya know what it was? Watching The Beatles problem solve song production. I'm really good at that. I'm a really good songwriter. It's what I was supposed to be, and what I spent the 90s doing... then 4tvs turned that songwriting into comedy and the rest is history... then 10 years later showbiz kicked my ass and I turned my problem-solving skills to construction the insanity of the last 10 years... but there's something about middle age. I don't care how good your life is (and mine is fucking amazing)... I don't care how accomplished you are - nearly all of us once belonged on a different path and shifted because, well, life.
I say nearly all of us because there are a few people that stayed focused on one thing and did it forever. For the rest of us? That passion gets interrupted. And it's not even a bad thing - I'm pretty pumped that I was self-aware enough to follow more paths than music because holy fuck look at The Journey. Ya know? These last 20 years... good LORD what a story. A story that would not have happened if I was blindly pushing albums, singing, songwriting, etc. No those songs became simple demos sung into a video camera on top of a piano - and I love 'em because they were indeed the moment. But what they were missing... was the craft of truly producing music. I've never really had the space or the equipment - hell I didn't even own a fucking keyboard until last year when I had to buy one to score Meeting Michael. A few times in the last couple decades I'd layer some voices to those simple piano songs or grab a drum loop and put something together - but it was all to support The Journey. It was never labored over, it was never truly worked out. There's a refreshing aspect to that, but oh how I miss crafting songs the same way, say, I crafted the Fastest Delorean edit. Or sections of GolfKon. It's this problem solving that requires a leap of faith and "feel" that you can only understand if you've done it yourself. And Get Back might as well be crack to a songwriter. Because you understand every, fucking, emotion. It's like you're in the room talking with them. Half the time they're saying what you're thinking, half the time they're introducing things you hadn't thought of - it's the creative process. The problem? They can't hear you and you can't help. And I cannot be alone in this inspiration... after awhile you just jump out of your fucking chair and think:
...and then comes the Adam part: "I will make a documentary about remembering who you once were. I will build an entire studio in the house, I'll document that, and I'll use the time the children are at school to treat it like a real job. I get up, go into the studio - and just see what happens. I haven't produced an album like this since 1996. When I walked into my dad's studio and we worked through the songs I brought him. We made cassettes in 1994 and 1995 and a CD in 1996. By then I was at WTVN and made an a capella CD by myself for 1997 and then, whew... 4tvs came along and changed everything. The cool part? This is going to be a very fast and exciting documentary because I can tie in all those stories intercut between construction footage and eventually music and producing footage. All the while watching my appearence change as I still need to do 2010 Adam for The Official Journey Volume 2 and eventually The Return of The Egos. The narrative having one, overarching mission statement: speaking to the middle aged crowd who also want to return to where they once belonged. It's the first time I've ever thought I could inspire without being all preachy. It always felt awkward to try and inspire with The Journey because my talents aren't exactly relatable...
...but with "Where You Once Belonged", it doesn't have to be. Sure, for me it's music... for everyone watching they just apply it to their own passions. And the ending doesn't even matter - no one buys albums, I don't care. I want to make an album like I did in the 90s. I want to work on the cover art. Hell I might even make a vinyl copy that hardly fucking anyone could actually play. I just need this. I need to do what I was meant to do, even if life and media has passed me by. I've done the techno geek route, you're here (and I have a Guinness World Record plaque to boot)... now I desperately want to go back a 1/4 century and pick up where I left off.
The timing is right. That will be 2022. I'll release the doc in 2023 alongside a full album.
Those fucking Beatles, man.