- 11:29 AM, Friday,
July 30th, 2021:
-
- So we had a
wonderful time at Tracey and Lynn's this week (Talya's
aunt and her wife) and I'm just thrilled the kids are
finally to an age where we don't have to constantly
worry about what their day will look like. I think
that was around 6 for our kids. The age where they can
roll with the punches a little easier. Handle a couple
hours in a car a little easier... hang with adults a
little easier. People without kids don't understand
why so many things you just... can't do for a bit. I
mean, you CAN... but it's miserable. Putting toddlers
in a car for 2-3 hours when it DOESN'T end in
Disnyland? Is harrrrd. And then to just "hang"? With
no planned activities other than they have a pool?
That shit ain't flyin' too well with 3 and 4 year
olds. 7 and 8? Oh hell yes. And we got to drink and
have fun as well. Absolutely relaxing and if not for
the fucking teacher anti-vax news would've been
perfect.
-
- Mother fuck.
Mother fuck fuck fuck.
-
- However... one
thing hit both Talya and me like a ton of bricks:
guest protocol PTSD. What happened with Jimmy and
Kaylyn in 2019 is clearly burned in our brain. Oh shit
I just said their names. I mean... duh, but
I hadn't alluded to the problems specifically being
with them - but it didn't take much to read behind the
lines. But the breakdown is this:
-
- We were trying to
take a 5 and 6 year old to a concert in San Diego that
started after their bedtime. To date? Maybe the
hardest logistical nightmare of our parenting lives.
Also, staying at Kaylyn's parents meant picking up
every loose scrap of paper, following them around
constantly and trying to keep them occupied. But man,
we did it. Pulled of Sea World too... the place was
immaculate when we left - I still cannot believe we
pulled off the concert, the park, the time in
between... whew.
-
- Then of course the
drama that followed about how hard it was for Kaylyn
and various issues that were literally never brought
up until we had already left... it's a laundry list of
crazy that really doesn't matter because it had
nothing to do with our visit and everything
to do with her. But it was the straw that made us
finally write to Jimmy and explain that we couldn't
let our kids fall in love with them any more than they
already have. We had to protect them, and we did, and
we're very thankful we did because they
STILL talk about them all the time. I cannot
fathom what it would be like now.
-
- I say all that to
say this: Talya and I felt that rising anxiety
throughout our visit. Kept trying to clean-up... kept
making sure we said the right things, kept trying to
offer money for food, kept trying to do
EVERY POSSIBLE THING RIGHT because
being guests 2 years ago ended up being wildly
traumatic. Of course Tracey and Lynn are nothing like
the seeming teenagers we stayed with back then, but it
still stuck with us. I even fixed part of their
deck that had an overhang that the kids kept knocking
their heads on because I so incessantly needed to
make sure things were better than when we arrived. I'm
never this manic about shit like that and I was
actually shaking at points because the stress of what
happened in 2019 was just hiding somewhere in my
brain. Thankfully, a couple drinks made that go away
and we really did have a lovely time... but it's gonna
take years to fully fix that. That really did a number
on us.
-
- The Journey is
awesome. I get to write this entry and put this in
stone. I get to describe a synapse in my brain
that is backfiring and then guess what? It gets
easier. This really, really, really is therapy for me.
I feel better having typed it out. Hopefully the
next time we all sleep over somewhere I can read
this entry and approach it differently. I just
didn't know it was coming this time.
-
- Their little pool
was also super fun.
-
-
- Hope we get to go
back soon!
-
- Adam
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