8:52 PM, Sunday, June 20th, 2021:
Oh the tears. Oh being at a friend's house when I saw this and having to go to the bathroom to CRYYYYYYYYYYY. Not sure anything Vienna has done has hit me like this:
The self-awareness at 8 just rips me to pieces. Now, it's a good cry. It's a happy rip... but a rip nonetheless. And I guess it's time to really address what I've touched on a few times...
Vienna's anxieties are at times completely debilitating. Like, wouldn't be able to attend a normal school level. Sometimes it's completely normal anxities and other times it's really, really bad. COVID blew everything up as she no longer had to face her anxieties at school... which of course made them worse. Concerned she may not be able to go back to school this fall because of them she started talking to a therapist and it really hasn't helped much. What has? Other kids. Hanging with out quarantine showed a MARKED difference. And I do believe once she is in school? She will take off the same way she did years ago when the same issues came up. She was doing SO WELL when COVID hit. Just awful timing (like it was good timing for anyone - lol).
What Talya and I have always tried to explain to her is that we're all given cards and the key is to learn how to play those cards, not try to change the cards or destroy the cards. The same brilliant mind that causes these intense anxiety attacks has the ability to work through them... ya just have to find the way. Complete the puzzle. She is not a normal kid and that's actually good a good thing. If she can combat the oddities that keep her from day-to-day activities? She can then focus that odd energy into art or all sorts of outside the box thinking. Her video is a perfect example of that. And then completely unbeknownst to me she writes this song...
Everyone has normal days,
Everyone has normal ways,
Except for me. Except for me.
My days are different…
My ways are different…
‘Cause I am strange. ‘Cause I am strange.
We are all strange in our own way.


I again feel the need to clarify - we did not help her with this. We did not explain poetry, or anything. Shit the girl doesn't even know ONE CHORD and she made that song. Fucking hell. And yes, a massive thank-you to Lisa Kudrow who I now desperately need to let know that my daughter is enamored with the character Phoebe and it's like she found someone who thinks like her. Out-of-the box, off-beat... just wonderful.
This ranks as one of my proudest moments as a father. This is a Journey song. This it The Journey 2000-2010. This is innately us and I'm just gobsmacked that this is how she dealt with what we've been trying to tell her for the past several years: take those feelings and create with them.
She listened.
And here come the tears again...