9:02 PM, Wednesday, January 20th, 2021:
It. Is. Over.
I don't ever remember a day being on the verge of tears for this long. Not even election day. This was just an exhale of pent-up emotion... just so much trauma. I think that's the takeaway I want to document in these entries: we were going through trauma and we're now dealing with legit PTSD symptoms. It effected our families so deeply. The quarantine, the fears... the death. The insurrection... just so much. Too much.
Last night Biden held the tiniest of memorials for COVID victims. It was the first time I cried about my grandfather who passed last April from COVID. Moreso for my mother who I couldn't be with while she went through that. I just cried. It was like his one act of kindness allowed me to not feel the need to FIGHT. Fight with people who thought this was fake.
We haven't been allowed to GRIEVE for a PANDEMIC because we have to fight leaders telling us it ISN'T REAL! FUCK. That's NOT NORMAL. FUCK, YOU, TRUMP.
But, he is gone. I get to disconnect from politics for probably the better part of this year. I don't care. I know the adults are in charge and I can relax.

I'm just so emotionally exhausted... but today was the start of the healing.