Entry #2092
10:32 PM - December 3rd, 2020
It's so weird that I feel the need to repeatedly make this entry when I so desperately hate repeating myself. The urge is just so strong to make this clear: this type of exposure makes me crazy. It would be like desperately wanting to meet a someone and seeing a video of them walking past your picture. It's Pee-Wee trying to find his bike and driving the wrong way while you see the bike go the opposite direction. It's excruciating to me, and the worst part? Everyone PRESUMES I'm fucking thrilled about it. People can't stop sending me pics of me in the background or my car being shown all over the world and I try to be so kind... but I just want to scream.
So here's this video...
What do ya do? Nothing. As I say in the video, you are thankful for having such a lucrative job but when you belong somewhere and this is how you get close? You're just done. It's funny - this is the opposite of the "Imposter Syndrome". So where is the happy medium?
Ahh, that's why The Journey continues...