Entry #2061
10:31 AM - August 20th, 2020
A month ago I announced to the world that I was really, really, REALLY, starting the diet/workout routine and for some reason? It worked.
This is the magic that I will never understand. Never. And I will be here again in the future, spinning my wheels and wondering why I can't get back at will. What, makes, it, stick? Why was July 20th different than June, May, April, March, February, January... what the fuck? I do nothing different, I start with the same routine. It feels like there has to be 3 or 4 elements that align perfectly or I can't sustain it. And once they align? Oh I'm in HARDCORE. Once I key in? Oh you could eat an entire Donatos pizza in front of me and I won't break. Nothing can penetrate the discipline I have...
...but it can take YEARS to regain that discipline. I had it for about 8 weeks last summer and it was COMPLETELY because of the disaster in France and the fallout. I had to focus on the diet/workout so I wouldn't lose my fucking mind. But before that? 3 full years. Start and stop... not really caring. Just. Don't know. 40s ambition is different than 20s and 30s? I guess? I really don't have the answer but I'm a lot kinder to myself than I used to be when I fail.
But now? WHEW. I'm on a streak I've honestly never been on before. At any age. It's crazy how focused I am.
So the apple-watch tracks "move points". Roughly, they're the "active calories" you're burning beyond your normal metabolic rate of just LIVING. To those who never think about shit like this: you burn calories by simply being alive. And the bigger you are the more you burn. Again, just by breathing and sitting. In order to NOT lose weight you have to match those calories. Of course if you eat more than that you gain weight and if you eat less than that you lose weight. It's as simple as can be and has never changed since the beginning of time.
So before when I'd try this I had a 1.5 rule that I tried to stick to. I'd try to eat 150% of my move. So if I could get to 800 move points, or active calories, I would eat 1200 calories. If I wanted to eat more, I needed to move more. Do the math, you will lose weight. A couple times I tried to literally EAT my move - so we're talking 1200-1200, but my goodness that's hard. I think I made it 6 days once, and even last year when I lost some weight I could only ever do 3 days of that. You're moving. And it's a tough balance because the more you move the hungrier you are. The balance of 1.5x or 150% seemed perfect.
Somehow, this is day 31 of moving more than I'm eating. No idea how. No idea why my mind and body are so clicked in. Yeah, I was hungry the first week... but after that? It's honestly been easy. I get my move up to around 250 early in the day... then eat about 250 calories... that gives me the energy to move some more, then I eat to match it. So on and so on throughout the day. If I decide to eat more? I end up dancing with the kids at night even though I just want to sleep. I remember how much that sucks the next day - and I go back to my routine. But no matter what? I stay under my move. Might be 5 freaking calories under, but I do it.
And the results are what they always are: crazy loss the first week because of the shock after not moving for 6 months... and then a steady 1-1.5% weight loss per week. Eat less, move more works exactly the same in my mid-40s as it does in my mid-20s. The only difference is my brain and lack of motivation as I get older. For whatever reason, though - I'm rolling like it's 2001. <throws hands up>
Ya know, it might actually be Beat Saber. I don't want to admit that, but the whole "high score" thing works on my brain. And because I'm focused on that? And because Beat Saber feels like playing music? It hits those things in my brain that make me forget about time. I may take 15-20 minutes to get a good score on a song and it feels like 3 mintues. That doesn't fucking happen when you run or sit on an exercise bike. Just doesn't.
Here's a video of me knocking out $100 Bills on Expert + to give you an idea...
There's actually a way for me to film that where it looks like I'm literally IN the game, but it's a pain in the ass and I'm too busy to figure that all out right now. But I presume once I'm down to my fighting weight I will want to show off. lol
So it's specifically great because the clutch injuries I have from the Time Machine are still really bad and running is just OUT. That was always my go-to. So finding something that doesn't require legs, but still gets your heart rate up? Miracle. Freaking wonderful. The only side-effect has been my neck is sore because the quest is poorly balanced. And to counter that you have to put MORE weight on the back. 2 freaking pounds on your head will give you some strain if you do it 2 hours a day.
But yeah, small price to pay. I'm rolling. I won't be at my target weight before Meeting Michael, but I will be presentable.
So yay. For some reason it worked. Why as why... just keep going.