Entry #2048
12:30 PM - July 5th, 2020
The air is thick with reminders of where we are and what we're all going through. Independence Day only exascerbates what used to be. How far we've come...
You rarely reflect on the thoughts you have when watching fireworks. The trite "proud to be an American" aura faded as I became an adult. Self-awareness of your country does that. I guess it's a bit cynical but it's also just, you know, learning history...
...but what I've always known about this country and where I do fit in? Ambition to do shit no one has ever done before. The attitude of "I bet I can do that..." is uniquely American. Never was that more apparent than when I spent a few says with a man named Alom in London back in '09. I had just gotten my Comedy Central pilot audition and was on cloud nine...
(speaking of which, that month houses 30... THIRTY entries. One of the most incredible months of The Journey - great rabbit hole to travel)

But he said point-blank: Americans always start from a foundation that anything is possible. British people don't. The rest of the world does not. It struck me. I guess that's true, but I knew no other way. I was proud to be an American if that's what it meant to the rest of the world.
However. LMAO. There's really no two ways about it: we're in some serious shit. Fall of an Empire type shit... and I'm ready to leave. I cannot tell you how nice it was to sit in France, look at a story about Trump and think "glad I'm not there..."
That shit is intoxicating. But that's just one man. A man who will most likely not be president much longer. The real problem? The overwhelming amount of people who support him. The overwhelming lack of community where even wearing a fucking mask to help your neighbor is asking too much. The rest of the world is horrified by our country and they're BANNING US FROM ENTERING THEIRS.
That's the reality in 2020 and I don't know if that changes when Biden becomes president. Trump ripped open a wound that no Biden Band-Aid can fix. Trump is the result of over a decade of unregulated social media and there seems to be no sign of fixing that. Trump's people will be LOUDER when he's defeated, not quieter. I don't want to be here for that.
Fuck... I just want my kids to be able to go to school? See other people in person? We're forced to live like there was a nuclear holocaust. It's pretty fucked up. They've either been on our property or my mother-in law's property for 116 straight days! Only a car ride in between. And this will go the rest of the year... and probably longer. And if we attempt to leave? There will be a waiting list. We're now Mexico trying to get into the US. That's how bad it is.
So our Quaranteam came to our house for the 4th since there are no legal fireworks celebrations and as this neighborhood is known to do: it lit this shit up. What was once annoying as a single dude with dogs? Is now pretty awesome with 2 kids. I mean, it's still fucking insane and they go for weeks and weeks and it's tiresome... but in 2020? It's something to look forward to. Even if mybrain can't really process America anymore.
It's gone, folks. And a change in the president ain't gonna change that I'm afraid. Time will tell.