- Entry
#2023
-
- 12:18 PM - April
29th, 2020
-
- My grandfather
died in his nursing home yesterday. We were told
yesterday he had pneumonia and they were testing him
for COVID. He was fine this morning, they came back to
give him lunch and he was gone. It's very matter of
fact and also very hard to believe that his coughing
and breathing issues are just coincidental, just
pneumonia, but the tests will soon tell us. Not that
it matters. They have to treat everything like COVID
these days which means if there even is a service it's
10 people or less, social distancing the whole nine.
Just fucking awful. And of course I can't go back
and be with my mom who desperately needs
someone.
-
- On April 11th she
got a letter from the nursing home saying there was a
COVID case at the home. I spent a long time talking
with my mom as clear as I could... that this was it. I
think my exact words were "are you prepared that he's
not gonna make it out of this month?" Of course the
next day we had to put CeBe down in that horrible
COVID mirage and now about 2 weeks later:
boom.
-
- I was not
close with my maternal grandfather so all of this is
just my concern for my mother. She hadn't been able to
see her dad for over a month and although they tried
to do video phoning with him, at 88 he seemed pretty
lost apparently. And then you get the news that COVID
is in the nursing home and, well, you're just
expecting the worst. You've just left him there and
you have zero control. Will life ever be the same
again? It sure doesn't feel like it. And these
ridiculous "re-openings" of cities is going to be a
disaster. We're at what, 60,000 deaths at the end of
April? Whew. End of May and June is going to be
horrific. Thes fucking yahoos with guns demanding
their freedoms...
-
- And of course
I have to wonder what comes next. April was
baaaaaaaaaaad. My mother hasn't been the most
"quarantine-cognizant" the past month and nothing I
seem to say seems to register with her nor the man she
lives with that there really is no reason to go out
right now. I wonder if this will do it. I can't fly
back. I mean it's a given I can't fly back for my
grandfather, but I can't fly back for anything. If my
mom gets sick... I listen to her on the phone. And she
ain't very healthy. I mean... whew. It's hard to
process all of this and it's getting harder and harder
to hide in a video game.
-
- My goodness what
video goes with THIS fucking entry. Oh, actually I do
have video of the day my grandfather met Vienna. He's
the first grandfather in this video...
-
-
- It's all like some
chapter in a book. I've said that for 20 years now but
the distance and the time really turn your memories
into far-off places. When you don't see people often
they get frozen in time... and as the decades pass
that's all you have.
-
- What moment in
time.
-
- Adam
|