- Entry
#2007
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- 12:08 PM -
February 11th, 2020
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- Every father of a
daughter has felt the Kobe story deeper than most.
There is someting redefining about having a daughter
as it pertains to your self-awareness that you cannot
easily put into words. It doesn't matter if you also
have a son (you're a man - you instantly relate boys),
a daughter means you have to jump outside of your
comfort zone and see the world through their eyes
constantly.
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- Now it should be
noted, after 20+ years of this self-awareness project,
I know that I have had that ability for my entire life
to a fault. My empathy has scarred these pages and
will continue to forever. Especially with women and I
have no doubt it comes from being raised by a single
mother. It is always their feelings first and as you
can tell from my past usually 2nd, 3rd and 4th. By the
time I get selfish the list of insanity that has
occurred is unending. That did actually change with
Talya because by the time we met I wanted nothing
to do with another relationship and ironically neither
did she. Of course we'd be married a year later.
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- But even with a
lifetime of empathy towards women the "girl dad" thing
is intense and lovely all at the same time. I guess
what I didn't see coming? Was Vienna liking me
this much. I know that sounds weird, but... her
thinking I'm funny feels amaaaaaaaaaaazing. She also
knows I never lie to her and expects me to always be
that way. Always. I say things to her that are years
past her age because I just, will, not, lie... and
even though she may not understand that? She expects
it and it is one of the most supreme responsibilities
I've ever known. And I'm sure you know where this is
going... that's what she is going to expect from her
significant others. And I'm hoping it's a "go fuck
yourself" slap in the face when others lie. I hope she
gets up and leaves the moment she spots it. She is
very shy and constantly apologetic by nature (no
matter how many times we tell her she has nothing to
apologize for - it's just in her), and
I desperately want her to stand on truth. Demand
truth. It, above all else, is what will keep you
centered in times of trouble.
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- So she told me
there's this new game at school called "prisoner"
where you have to throw the ball at each other and
yell their name and catch it and their out and yadda
yadda I have no idea... what I do know is that she
wanted to beat the boys and needed
practice.
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- OH I'M READY FOR THIS SHIT.
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- We spent 2-3 days
throwing the ball at each other and she specifically
wanted it thrown pretty hard. Whew. I mean, she's not
a tomboy... but I wanted her to be prepared so she was
successful... so jesus I was beaning this girl. And it
was so tough... but we kept laughing and she was cool.
The security cam caught a few tosses so I'll throw
something together...
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-
- She cam back the
following day and of course no one wants to play that
game anymore. LMAO. This girl practiced all fuckin'
weekend and they're all like: nah let's just play
something else. Oh well. But it was the first time she
had shown an interest in competing with boys and
kicking the shit out of them and oh... oh god it was
my mission for her to make a boy cry. Like I was like
KILL KILL KILL. FUCK THEM UP.
DON'T YOU DARE CRY...
YOU JUST KILL KILL KILL.
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- hahahahahaa
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- Wasn't that bad,
but man it hit a thing in my brain that I'll never
forget. Love you V.
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- Adam
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