- 12:02 PM,
Thursday, December 19th, 2019:
-
- How's
THIS for a fucking story. Here's the video
version...
-
-
- ...now the
details:
-
- So Talya didn't
put oil in or change the oil in the Expedition for a
long time. Although I do drive it periodically, I just
presumed she was on it. However it is NOT all her
fault because of this next piece of information: the
oil pressure gauge was being wonky as fuck. I now know
it's because there was no
FUCKING OIL IN THE CAR, but for
like 6 weeks I just thought the wiring to the sensor
was being wonky. It's a 2004 car. It has an issue with
one of the tire pressure sensors as well. It would
show everything as fine and then be
COMPLETELY DOWN, then fine. THEN LOW. It
seemed clear that the gauge was freaking out. When, in
fact the oil was just moving to different parts of the
engine and was absolutely running on fumes. My bad
there. I never made the connection as my head is
swirling with all things Delorean.
-
- Of course,
I get about 10 miles into my trip towing the time
machine and that fucker says hell no. Stops, won't
start ('cause the pistons literally can't move
- LOL) and I'm able to pull over to the side.
Problem now? I have to not only get the
Expedition towed, I have to get the trailer back to
U-Haul. I don't have AAA for all of that. So I
have Talya bring up the trusty 1999 Camry (which had
hitch put on 20 freaking years ago for the move out
here) and in the meantime I have to take the Time
Machine off, unhook the flatbed and then PUSH the
Expedition far enough down the road to fit the Camry
in.
-
- Fuck.
-
- But I did it.
Hooked it up to the Camry and took it back to U-Haul,
they were kind enough to give me a full refund on the
entire 3 day rental and then it's back to give the
Camry to Talya to drive home while the Expedition is
towed to the mechanic. Of course that leaves me having
to drive the Time Machine to San Francisco. That's an
over 700 mile roundtrip. I may or may not have
mentioned this but one of the rocker arm springs is
broken and I haven't been able to fix that yet.
Strangely it breaking lessened the tension (it's the
same rocker arm that broke in the first movie) and
since it's housed in a unit that is stil intact it
runs fine, but you don't want to push the RPMs too
much. I knew I was towing it this week so I
didn't have to worry about it. Figured I'd have the
first week of 2020 to address it...
-
- ...and then this.
So I start to drive it and I then remember that the
axle bolts that always come loose haven't been checked
in a while. I go to an O'Reilleys and mother
fucker - they were OUT. Like I have no idea how
I didn't lose at least 3. Got some tools, fixed
it as best as I could in the parking lot and figured
I'd stop every 100 miles or so and check them. Which
is about how far I could go before needing gas because
it's only a 13 gallon gas tank and the engine is a
fucking BEAST... but, it made it. It was fine. It was
loud. It was absolutely exhausting and I'd never
attempt it again but I got to San Fran and proceeded
to just cry. Like literally get in the bathtub with a
glass of whiskey and just cry.
-
- I'm so sick of
this car people. I'm so sick of the constant
emergencies and constant danger of driving it. The
responsibility is so heavy and although I am a
tough motherfucker I just had to break down for a bit.
Really nice hotel room actually... and an easy gig
with enough time to lay in bed and do NOTHING so
I could gear up for the RETURN 370 miles the
morning after the event because guess what? Another
gig in LA THAT night. Fuckin' fuck. What is it
about this goddamned year?
-
- But, increidbly
I made it back, made the gig, got home and
collapsed. I still have another gig on the 21st
and maybe a NYE gig but if that doesn't come
through I get a good three week rest period and holy
shit do I need it.
-
- However, it does
have a happy ending: bought the family a 2020 Rav 4
Hybrid. Now that won't be able to tow anything, I'll
still have to get something for that, but what we save
in gas mileage may actually pay for the towing car in
a couple years. We got 13 mpg with the Expedition.
This car gets 41 mpg.
-
- FUCK. 41/city
40/highway. That's insane. It's also super shiny and
nice and the kids are now in regular booster seats
instead of car seats and everyone is older and life is
moving too fast and AHHHHHH...
-
- ...but it's the
first new car I've bought since 1999 (still have that
trusty bastard) and it's a Toyota. The kids will drive
this car. My family is safe. We had a nice long
discussion about oil changes... which, well, won't be
an issue since this car will actually tell you. That
was the problem with the Expedition, you needed to
watch the mileage and Talya was used to her
BMW just telling you. Well now this
will.
-
- Zero judgment here
- we're all running around with our heads cut-off
trying to keep life going. Just happy it will happen
for my family in a new car. All's well that ends
well.
-
- Adam
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