- 2:00 PM,
Wednesday, October 30th, 2019:
- So anyone
following this journey is aware that some crazy shit
went down this summer that I can't really talk
- ...weirdest thing?
There are 5 people that it could all apply to. Five.
Five separate relationships this summer have been
affected and they probably think this entry is about
- I, am Carly
- I'm writing this
however because as much as I attempt to get past
this? My sub-conscious ain't having it and
I dream about it often. Strangely? I dream
the most about the 5th most imporant person on this
list because all it takes to clear things up with him
is for him to read like 3 different things and just
listen. He won't pick up the phone when I call,
won't respond to texts, doesn't want to hear anything
because what he believes makes him feel good (and is
corroberated by two other people who also have
ulterior motives to keep him believing one thing).
It's this bizarre triangle (or I guess square - fuck,
even a pentagon come to think of it) that my mind
can't let go of. It has no bearing on me anymore
whatsoever, I have zero motive to care...
- ...but my brain
cannot let go of certain miscommunications. Like, my
dreams? Are the dude just sitting down and talking to
me and then saying "oh, ok." And that's it! LOL. Isn't
that crazy? Anyone reading ever have communication
dreams? I don't want to be friends with the guy,
I don't need an apology (I honestly don't think
he did anything wrong, he's the one being lied to) we
don't really even have a relationship... it just makes
me crazy that he is so certain he knows the truth,
when I can easily prove otherwise. Something in
my brain can't let that go. Also he, or someone close
to he made a fake account on Facebook...
- At which point
I was blocked by "Nabs Casanova". We're not
exactly dealing with brain surgeons here. I find it
hilarious that my brain wants to make this person see
the truth when he's exactly the type of person that
deserves to dig himself deeper into a hole because
he's too stupid to read what's in front of him. It's
kinda like wanting to help Trump supporters vote in
their best interests but realizing it's
- So back to that
song... and now that bar...
- The reverberations
of everything that went down in the summer of 2019
will last for a long time. 3 of the 5 will work itself
out (thankfully without me) next year, but the other 2
are gonna be tough. 1 is most certainly a lifetime and
the other could be any moment or also a lifetime.
I miss him. A bunch. But that was my choice and I
have to live with it.
- Ugh. Fuck
adulthood, it's Halloween tomorrow.