5

 

 

  

2:00 PM, Wednesday, October 30th, 2019:   So anyone following this journey is aware that some crazy shit went down this summer that I can't really talk about...   ...weirdest thing? There are 5 people that it could all apply to. Five. Five separate relationships this summer have been affected and they probably think this entry is about them.   I, am Carly Simon.   I'm writing this however because as much as I attempt to get past this? My sub-conscious ain't having it and I dream about it often. Strangely? I dream the most about the 5th most imporant person on this list because all it takes to clear things up with him is for him to read like 3 different things and just listen. He won't pick up the phone when I call, won't respond to texts, doesn't want to hear anything because what he believes makes him feel good (and is corroberated by two other people who also have ulterior motives to keep him believing one thing). It's this bizarre triangle (or I guess square - fuck, even a pentagon come to think of it) that my mind can't let go of. It has no bearing on me anymore whatsoever, I have zero motive to care...   ...but my brain cannot let go of certain miscommunications. Like, my dreams? Are the dude just sitting down and talking to me and then saying "oh, ok." And that's it! LOL. Isn't that crazy? Anyone reading ever have communication dreams? I don't want to be friends with the guy, I don't need an apology (I honestly don't think he did anything wrong, he's the one being lied to) we don't really even have a relationship... it just makes me crazy that he is so certain he knows the truth, when I can easily prove otherwise. Something in my brain can't let that go. Also he, or someone close to he made a fake account on Facebook...     At which point I was blocked by "Nabs Casanova". We're not exactly dealing with brain surgeons here. I find it hilarious that my brain wants to make this person see the truth when he's exactly the type of person that deserves to dig himself deeper into a hole because he's too stupid to read what's in front of him. It's kinda like wanting to help Trump supporters vote in their best interests but realizing it's useless.   So back to that song... and now that bar...     The reverberations of everything that went down in the summer of 2019 will last for a long time. 3 of the 5 will work itself out (thankfully without me) next year, but the other 2 are gonna be tough. 1 is most certainly a lifetime and the other could be any moment or also a lifetime. I miss him. A bunch. But that was my choice and I have to live with it.   Ugh. Fuck adulthood, it's Halloween tomorrow.   Adam