- 12:01 AM,
Saturday, September 28th 2019:
-
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIENNA!!!!!!!
(7 exclamation points)
-
- ...and
Ernie is back!
-
-
- All is right with
the world once Ernie is back.
-
- Dear
Vienna,
-
- So you can
actually read this. Completely. By yourself. So
I suddenly don't know what to say. Come to think
of it, since you still aren't really "online" and have
no idea what The Journey is I can just write to the
age I think you'll be when you...
-
- ...gulp...
-
- ...it just hit me
that you'll be able to read this without parental
guidance at some point and will not possibly be able
to process what's housed within these walls. And there
it is. The moment a 20 year project REALLY hits you.
But for now, let's start over:
-
- Dear
Vienna,
-
- 7 is very
different than 5 or 6. I was cool with every age
and for some reason 7 hits me as: oh, you're halfway
to 14 and a third of the way to 21. You've absolutely
completed a big chapter of your life and I do
indeed feel like there's only a handful of years where
we have the relationship we have now. I hope I'm wrong
and will believe I'm wrong every step of the way but
in the deepest parts of my heart I know I will lose
you for a bit. Because I will never lie to you, you
will come back at some point... but it will be
different.
-
- Right now? When
you say "Hi Dada!" in the morning when you see me or
when I come back from somewhere you MEAN IT.
You are thrilled. You are so happy to see me and it
makes me want to weep it means so much. But that's not
my role as a father. I can't hold onto that.
I can enjoy it in the moment, but I have to
be focused on helping you be a self-sufficient, strong
and happy young woman and guide you AWAY from us
eventually.
-
- I have to
literally write that out because my HEART? Oh my heart
wants to freeze you in time and keep you this adorable
and hilarious forever. I cannot begin to express to
you how much it warms my heart that you like me. And
it doesn't feel like it's just because I'm your dad.
It's the same reasons I actually like you. Not just
because you're my daughter. I truly find you
hilarious. I adore watching you learn and seeing
the amazing thoughts that come out of your brain.
There just isn't a moment I don't love. Even when
you're annoyed at Cam or freaking out about
something... it's still a teachable moment to help you
learn how to make it in a world full of annoying
people.
LMAO.
-
- That's actually
all the life skills you need when you're intelligent:
the ability to handle fucking idiots without killing
yourself. I was good in my 20s and 30s. I've
pretty much built my own island in my 40s because
I CANNOT DEAL WITH STUPIDITY ANYMORE.
Ahem. I may not be your best guide for
that...
-
- ...but either way
- I love you more than I can ever express. I will give
my entire life to help you create the most fantastic
and happy existence if you wish to have my
help.
-
- I hope you
do.
-
- Love,
- Dada
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