3:00 PM, Sunday, September 22nd 2019:
A nearly impossible entry to write publicly so I guess I'll make another entry tomorrow with the ACTUAL truth. Well the uncensored truth. Hmmm. God I hate this shit. Vague version:
This is my reaction to getting a phone call that something I lost a couple months ago (what all those locked entries were about) was being reinstated. What's left out is the toll the last two months has taken on me and Talya. We were both part of this whirlwind, both spinning, both trying to figure out what happened and getting nowhere. What was reinstated doesn't fix any of that. That will always be this strange event that we can barely explain to people because it seems so crazy they think we're leaving shit out. However, what was reinstated does indeed "right" a "wrong" that came from those events and takes the sting of this summer out of everything. It also probably means I'll be gaining weight now. LMAO. But, oooh, I can't until... DAMNIT. I just can't tell anything man. This is annoying.
Maybe someday.
But I can say this: there's a saying that there's three sides to every story, your side, their side and the truth. Ya know who says that? People that WANT their to be three sides. People that KNOW they're just telling their side and they want to bring down your side. It's a common ploy. The truth makes someone look bad so they literally lie to cover their ass and then when they get caught? "Hey man, there's three sides to every story."
No, there fucking isn't. There is the truth. And if you work REALLY REALLY HARD at being self-aware? You can find that pretty quickly. If you are aware of your own human nature that can sometimes cause you to color things in a different light so you look better? You can avoid doing that. That's honestly what this site is all about: just showing it all. Having egg on my face. 20 years of failures with a few successes here and there. Being honest is my religion. I believe that if you focus on constantly taking your bias out of situations and collecting facts you will rise above so, much, bullshit.
This situation however, I was dealing with 3 people that brought their own issues into a situation run by someone with ulterior motives. So bullshit doesn't even start to describe it: it was absolute chaos with no one involved reading the literal proof of how the puppeteer was manipulating things. One person though, did read it. Which eventually lead to this phone call today and it's why I reacted like this. Christ this is vague...
...but as I said in the video: no matter how much you are pressured to admit to things that are untrue or to lie about events to "keep the peace"... don't do it. Ever. Tell the truth. Not your truth, tell every single fact you know no matter how bad it makes you look and don't change anything. The truth is all that will ever matter. Even had I never received this call it's all that would ever matter. Truth does set you free.
And this time it won. Whew.