- 9:44 PM,
Wednesday, September 18th 2019:
-
- Very strange
ability I have to just transform. It doesn't even feel
like weight loss. It's a metamorphosis.
-
- So two months ago,
as you can tell from the locked entries, I went
through some SHIT. Some of the shittiest shit I've
ever had shat upon me and I'm still kind of reeling
from it. And it's my worst issue to boot:
miscommunication mixed with the persons involved
refusing to talk about it or even read what happened.
To the point of literally handing your phone to a
"friend" and begging them to just read the texts.
Nope, won't do it. That type of situation will BREAK
me. Like, I can handle divorces,
confrontations... anything. A complete unwillingness
to communicate about something that revolves around
your own reputation? Oh dear. Sign me up for the
psycho ward there. I will literally spend a lifetime
trying to make certain the truth is known.
-
- The good news
however, is that it resulted in me focusing on my
appearence. Which means the magical secret of, gasp,
eating less and moving more. I still have a good 20-25
pounds to go but I clearly look like "Adam" again.
Whatever that really means...
-
-
- Fat bearded Adam
is still me. But it's me dealing with so many things
I just can't be bothered to care about what I
look like. And truthfully? It means I'm handling some
pretty big things. I'm being wildly productive... when
I look like a normal human male however, it means
I have been focusing really hard on ME. It usually
only lasts a few months LOL. Each time I'm certain
I'll find some routine that will allow me to stay in a
normal weight range for the rest of my life and I just
never do. Won't stop me from trying. The problem is
the moment I let my guard down either because life is
pressin' on me or I want to let HAPPINESS in...
I eat. A lot. And it's fun. And I love it. And
the regiment I have to keep up to stay fit is so
far outside of who I am that I can only pull it off
for a limited amount of times... but my hope is that
I can find some middle-ground. Where I was
in France was just too much man. But man, you will all
understand when you see Fastest Delorean 2. Whew. It's
one helluva story.
-
- As was today. The
Delorean was on the set of "Let's Make a Deal" and
I can't say shit or show shit until
APRIL FUCKING 2020. Is that crazy? The fuck.
So annoyed. But it'll be awesome when it comes out.
-
- Adam
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