- 11:41 AM,
Wednesday, March 13th, 2019:
- It all feels so
- We're far luckier
than most parents since I document so much (90% of
which never goes public) so at any moment we can spend
HOURS with either kid at ANY MONTH
OF THEIR LIVES. It's a gift to be sure. I
mean, I know parents now video tape everything but
because of the journey I have to catalog everything
with exact dates and times and store it all. So it
allows for INSTANT access if at any point we're
missing 6 month old Vienna or Cam. It's right there.
Boom. And with all of that? It STILL feels like it's
going too fast.
- Today, Vienna is
the happiest girl in the world. The once shy (to the
point of silence) girl is hardly seen and she is
comfortable being her at nearly all times. She's
mature beyond her years to such a degree I'm honestly
a little freaked out at times with our conversations.
Cam always seems to shine brighter within the pages of
"The Journey" because he's just so gregarious you
can't stop watching the train wreck. LOL. But after
going to her Kindergarten open-house yesterday and
seeing how excited she was to share everything,
I just had to document it. And of course her
being silly with the time machine is, well, bizarre.
Their "normal" is so, not, normal. LOL.
- But I love her to
death. My relationship with her is SO, DIFFERENT,
THAN, CAMERON. This idea of "favorites" blows my mind.
Maybe if you had two very similar kids? But they
couldn't be more polar opposite and at no time can you
really favor one of the other. I'm not saying
that shit because they may read this someday, it's
100% true: it's like apples and oranges. Sushi and
steak. I like 'em both for different reasons and
you can't compare them. The thing that just beats you
over the head once you get to know Vienna, though...
is she's got a thoughtful, mature demeanor about her
that I'm certain will make her miserable in her teens.
Like, that's literally why I wrote this entry's title:
she's gonna have some trouble in her teens. She's
happy now because she's insulated... but man oh man
are people going to break, her, heart. I don't even
mean romantically - she's gonna be let down
constantly. Things are NOT going to work the way she
thinks... no one will be as considerate as her and she
will NOT TAKE IT WELL.
- I think.
I also think that as we keep a line of
communication open I can help. I'm blatantly frank.
Like, wildly honest to a point that I constantly have
to remind myself she's only 6 because I talk to
her like she's 26. That may actually be the saving
grace in our relationship as she grows up, time will
tell. But for right now I soak in that innocent
joy as much as I can. The world through her eyes
is so fair, it's so nice, it's so considerate, it's
such absolute HORSESHIT but man - I need a little bit
more of that before she figures that out.
- Fuck the world,
love my family.
- PS - Just noticed
the dates, I think this is officially the longest
time between entries in the 20 year history of the
journey: 16 days. Wow.