11:41 AM, Wednesday, March 13th, 2019:
It all feels so fleeting...
We're far luckier than most parents since I document so much (90% of which never goes public) so at any moment we can spend HOURS with either kid at ANY MONTH OF THEIR LIVES. It's a gift to be sure. I mean, I know parents now video tape everything but because of the journey I have to catalog everything with exact dates and times and store it all. So it allows for INSTANT access if at any point we're missing 6 month old Vienna or Cam. It's right there. Boom. And with all of that? It STILL feels like it's going too fast.
Today, Vienna is the happiest girl in the world. The once shy (to the point of silence) girl is hardly seen and she is comfortable being her at nearly all times. She's mature beyond her years to such a degree I'm honestly a little freaked out at times with our conversations. Cam always seems to shine brighter within the pages of "The Journey" because he's just so gregarious you can't stop watching the train wreck. LOL. But after going to her Kindergarten open-house yesterday and seeing how excited she was to share everything, I just had to document it. And of course her being silly with the time machine is, well, bizarre. Their "normal" is so, not, normal. LOL.
But I love her to death. My relationship with her is SO, DIFFERENT, THAN, CAMERON. This idea of "favorites" blows my mind. Maybe if you had two very similar kids? But they couldn't be more polar opposite and at no time can you really favor one of the other. I'm not saying that shit because they may read this someday, it's 100% true: it's like apples and oranges. Sushi and steak. I like 'em both for different reasons and you can't compare them. The thing that just beats you over the head once you get to know Vienna, though... is she's got a thoughtful, mature demeanor about her that I'm certain will make her miserable in her teens. Like, that's literally why I wrote this entry's title: she's gonna have some trouble in her teens. She's happy now because she's insulated... but man oh man are people going to break, her, heart. I don't even mean romantically - she's gonna be let down constantly. Things are NOT going to work the way she thinks... no one will be as considerate as her and she will NOT TAKE IT WELL.
I think.

I also think that as we keep a line of communication open I can help. I'm blatantly frank. Like, wildly honest to a point that I constantly have to remind myself she's only 6 because I talk to her like she's 26. That may actually be the saving grace in our relationship as she grows up, time will tell. But for right now I soak in that innocent joy as much as I can. The world through her eyes is so fair, it's so nice, it's so considerate, it's such absolute HORSESHIT but man - I need a little bit more of that before she figures that out.
Fuck the world, love my family.
PS - Just noticed the dates, I think this is officially the longest time between entries in the 20 year history of the journey: 16 days. Wow.