- 10:10 AM, Friday,
February 15th, 2019:
Valentine's Day yesterday.
- Or, just
completely normal. I'm almost bored at the variety.
I'm in such a weird place.
- But one thing
stood out when people reacted to me "hanging" with
Juliette Lewis all day. It's absolutely nothing like
they think - NOR is it anything like most people
in my position ACT like it is. So I made
- Not to be a
buzzkill, but I didn't "work" with her - nor did
the lighting guy. Ya know? The photographer and her
make-up artist. I'll give that to 'em. But the rest of
us are wall paper. I mean, we're necessary...
I don't mean to demean the job - but we're all
just doing a job.
And me, more than ANYONE there, has NO job.
Like... I sit around ALL DAY playing
Nintendo, trying to stay on a diet, and scrolling
Facebook. Bored out of my FUCKING MIND. It's fun
that I'm making buckets of money, sure. But... my
I just don't have the personality to care about
that. I'm the weirdo that feels that if he still has a
mortgage? He has no disposable income. Ya know? I
ALWAYS feel like everything is gonna disappear and
although I'm getting better? It's pretty hardwired
So this is just a day where I didn't get to
...even though I made a video, wrote an essay, made
the entry bar, etc... even THAT is just busy work
after doing it for 20 years.
- I'm pretty clearly
in a rut. I have been for awhile now. I wonder
what will get me out of it?