12:32 PM, Thursday, January 24th, 2019:
So I named this video/entry last night when I rendered the video...
...and I must be getting old because I cannot figure out what the hell I meant. I mean, this JUST FUCKING HAPPENED and I don't remember what I was thinking. Finding happiness without "making it"? Seems about right, right? God I really don't know - I was kinda buzzed last night. Ha.
So yeah, what an adorable video. It kind of annoys me that I'm always this happy-go-lucky "fun dad" when I have a drink or two and generally exhausted when I'm sober. That's bad, right? Drinking just magnifies who you are and me singing and laughing with my kids is absolutely who I am...
...but my brain NEVER STOPS thinking about the work I have to do. I can't really "work" when I'm drinking so the moment I switch hats and sip some whiskey? I instinctively know I'm "free" for a bit. And no matter how exhausted or achy I am I do shit like this in this video.
That should probably be my goal, though: finding a way to turn off my brain and be this Adam without any drug or elixir. Not even becuase it could be a problem... but because I don't want to need ANYTHING. I even want to get off coffee here pretty soon because dude - I'm LOST without coffee in the morning. Like "don't fucking talk to me" without coffee. I'm WAY WORSE without coffee than I am without alcohol. I hate all of that. I don't want to be beholden to that shit.
Way to ruin a sweet video, Adam. But hey, these are my thoughts. That's what you guys read this for.
Right mom?