5:27 PM, Wednesday, June 20th, 2018:
Two days ago I went on Frangela and did my normal stint being their resident "realist"... but as I was piecing that video together and watching the news I started losing it a bit. Then yesterday, June 19th, I legit felt a depression I hadn't in years. While reading the news I found that I had laid down. And as the day continued I couldn't get up. I stayed in bed all day. I drank. I ate comfort food. I cried. Then when I watched Rachel Maddow break down I had to disconnect out of self-preservation. What, is, happening to our country.
I won't get into the particulars, I obviously stand on the human side and the sad thing is? Most people do, they just don't understand the facts so they actually think Trump isn't doing anything. I should proably just post my portions from Frangela on Monday.
I really seem together there. I wasn't soon after. And back in the day - I was always good at capturing the depression, but when you're trying to keep it from your kids - the ability to think of you just goes away. And then you have to keep them from seeing the news describing FUCKING BABIES in jail. The utter coincidence of Cameron suddenly learning about jail and that kids don't go to jail. He actually said that to me out of the blue as he ran into the room and LOOKED AT THE SCREEN as the newscaster talked about kids in cages. I don't THINK he caught it but I jumped up to turn the channel and had Talya take them out to watch cartoons. I mean what the fuck.
And the worst? Is right now I can already hear the "other side" arguments in my head and they don't even realize the audacity of what they're saying. They don't even understand what asylum is. They're so, so, so privileged.
I want to leave. Jesus the second Vienna finds out school shootings are even a thing... I just can't imagine how we will console her. A friend of mine always says "well statistically they're still safe" (this from someone who homeschools) and it makes me crazy. STATISTICALLY my kid would be safe if I strapped a parachute on him and threw him off a building. DOESN'T MAKE IT A RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO MAN.
And that's what all of this comes down to. When your country is no longer a place you want to belong and you have the wherewithall to do something about it - at what point are you now irresponsible by staying?
Hyperbole is gone. Something has to change.