7:15 PM, Monday, March 12th, 2018:
I guess it's a given if you've found this hidden website that is still built on web software from the 1990s (I shit you not) that you're pretty die-hard and you're looking for spoilers. I decided long ago to keep this somehwat hidden because I simply cannot monetize or try to even popularize something that is so crucial to my actual being. It's my place to be open, honest, vulnerable... in fact there's secrets within these pages I have never spoken of publicly but can absolutely be viewed within seconds if you know where to look. Strange right? I guess there's safety in numbers, but I'm not even too concerned by it. The accountability of knowing it's public keeps me humble. It's the truth and it's lead to me being me. Someday my kids will peruse all of them and figure it all out.
It's with that glorious opening I speak of Kenny's response to the film and try and process that response. Without giving away the exact response (since we now have to think of this in public terms for a sequel) he seems genuinely sorry for how things turned out, genuinely relieved for how I handled the movie, and we're talking about him coming out next month to try and put some pieces of our relationship back together.
My heart and brain aren't exactly on the same page, nor should they be. There's only one way that we reconnect and that's with a camera rolling. 1) for documentation purposes so there's absolutely NO MISTAKING WHAT IS SAID and 2) this is now bigger than us. There's not one person who has viewed or will view that movie that won't have a ton of questions and if there is to be any repairing of his reputation it will require those questions to be answered and them seeing us sit down and work through it. I think Kenny knows by the edit of the film that I had no interest in slamming him and tried all I could to protect him. That doesn't however mean I completely forgive him. I do want him to come out. I do want to ask him some questions. And I honestly DON'T want that on film... but I don't see any possible way to avoid that with the situation HE finds himself in: his reputation is awful right now and I can't just show some montage of us in the same room or working on the car with some happy music. No, this has to be dealt with up front and honestly for the entire world to see.
So that's where we stand on March 12th, 2018. I was STUNNED when I got his positive text. Considering his anger at the trailer... whew. He must've really understood for the first time what I went through during that period. It may just be as simple as that: he was only thinking from one perspective. Obvious, sure... but considering both perspectives were QUITE PUBLIC throughout... I'm stunned he couldn't see what this was doing. Anyway, I'll save all that for later. This is clearly a positive development. Just too new even after a couple days. I also don't want to say or presume too much. Cannot fathom how nervous he must have been watching that for the first time. So many ways it could've gone. So glad I labored over every second to make certain I only included what was crucial to the story of getting the record. I think he understands that.
Anyway, I survived another weekend but now with electrical issues that may be alternator related or may be an idle air control valve issue. Both of which I've exhausted my expertise on so I now have to study and try again. Thankfully I have some time off before the car needs to move again. But I'm glad I got it moving this weekend. Don also surprised a little kid (named Cam oddly enough) as I had a gig at "The Coop" here in LA. Literally felt like I was cheating on my kids being there without them. Funny feeling.
Don, we are blessed to be able to do this man. So crazy.