5

 

 

 

11:28 AM, Monday, January 15th, 2018:   In the midst of everything, for some goddamn reason, I decided it was a good idea to start a GolfKon project. I know it seems that I'm out of my mind, but here's why it's all therapy and actually helps my brain...   The amount of work the GolfKon tournaments require is pretty substantial. Even though I've given up on videos (after making TWENTY-FIVE, 30-minute, insanely produced graphics-heavy videos), I have leaderboards throughout the course with the winners that require not only a lot of time, but a lot of money. The cardboard plaques not only have to be designed, printed, cut-out and glued to the wooden boards, they then have to be laquered over to protect from the rain and sun. In the 5 years the boards have been up however, nothing has worked to truly protect them. No matter how much laquer, eventually some paper curls up and once it rains, it destroys it and it needs to be replaced. And of course over time the sun fades EVERYTHING. Add to that, at $50 a pop, the laquer eventually goes bad and browns and then when you try and add a new piece of cardboard it messes up the other pieces leaving you with a gigantic headache. Also, that shit never keeps as well as it should and you end up buying more and more cans of it. When I tried smaller cans, I ended up finding some laquer that just dried up after a week and left crackly shit all over. Christ.   Last year I stopped updating the boards. meaning to do one big one at the end of the year but when it came time to spend even more money (and time) I just couldn't do it. And then I got this 4K computer monitor for $359 plus tax and I had an idea.   So while trying to procrastinate dealing with the car issues I started designing a digital leaderboard and instead of the pictures of each event, I'd use a short clip on a loop. And, well, the rest is history:     I know it's overused to say "You have to see it to believe it", but in this case it's really true. I mean, I'm sure you believe it's real, but it's hard to appreciate how high-tech it feels. Remarkably, it's more impressive during the day because it isn't GLOWING like at night... so it just seems like a matte painting that moves somehow.   The other funny thing about this is how everyone thinks this is some spectacular skillset on my part and that has to be the most bittersweet comment, ever. It's literally 90s photshop and editing skills that are only impressive because of increased resolution. You make a photoshop file the size of the screen resolution and then lay video files on top of it. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene. That's it. I could teach anyone how to do it in 3 minutes. But, like most things I do, it's the breadth and ambition of it all that impresses people, even if subconsciously. It passes that "wow" test because it's so detailed and just LOOKS like a lot of work. And make no mistake, it fucking is... but the skill involved? Nah, that's kinda simple. The madness to do it however is ALL ME. ;-)   But this all leads to one therapeutic truth: by spending $350 and a couple days of work, I've saved myself more hours and money than I can even count. From printer ink to cardboard stock to laquer, brushes and labor... whew. But more than just the economics and efficiency of it? Whenever anyone comes to GolfKon I can mention George Wendt and point to him walking to the bar and us having a beer. I can point to Gedde Watanabe spinning reenacting his UHF role with the wheel of fish. I can point to when the news came out and did a story because it's all just RIGHT THERE ON THE WALL on a loop. Every cool thing that has happened on the course is just there to be seen and my goodness is it a conversation piece.   So, there's my therapy. That's why I create like it's my last day on earth every possible second I can: it's self-medicreation.   Adam