9:35 PM, Wednesday, January 10th, 2018:
It doesn't take long while perusing the first 10 years of The Journey to realize what this day meant. I don't even want to mention it in this entry, but rest assured: it was all that was on my mind. When this gig was booked it was the first thing I think of since the issues with this car are so wrapped up in...
...well, what this day is. And with that, I give you today's videos:
I promptly broke down on Talya's shoulder while wandering aimlessly in the kitchen trying to process everything. It's the definition of too much to handle, but I will get up tomorrow and handle it. Just unsure of the emotional and even physical toll it's going to take. I'm concerned about how to move forward with my business. I'm looking into buying another time machine on credit. I'm scared. I don't even mention all the things wrong. A fuel line exploded last month causing me to have to tow it to and from an event and there's no rhyme or reason as to why it happened. It just did. Which means, at any point, anything can go wrong that will break my contract with my next event and I lose everything. The car is the definition of unreliable on so many fronts it feels irresponsible to keep booking it, yet so many events are already booked...
...so you keep going. Incredibly, by leaving hours early and always working on the car I have yet to lose a gig - but it's honestly luck at this point. I mean, I know it's hard to watch that video and consider me lucky - but my McGuyver skills got me through it and I didn't have to give back $1300. $1300 is a LOT of money. Which is why there is so much anxiety and I long for the days when I could depend on the unreliability of a Delorean. Now it's a complete fuckjob of issues that no one will touch because it's so modified. So it all falls on me.
My blood pressure is keenly aware of this. I have to find a workable solution and find it soon.