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9:22 PM, Thursday, October 9th, 2017:   To anyone following this site, it's pretty clear birthdays aren't a big deal to me. Don't have parties, don't want gifts. The strange thing though is that you make such a big deal about them for your kids, they completely expect the same for you and have no idea why we're not THEMING the house for the big 4-2. Ha. Sure, it would be fun... I just don't care enough to devote ANY energy to it because I'm just as happy doing ANYTHING else. I guess I'm weird...   ...but when I do get introspective on these pages I'm suddenly in my late 20s thinking of 42 as sooooo much older. I have so many questions for that dude and if he didn't "make it", why? And I guess I say, I have forty-two reasons why and every year in this journey (which with the radio entries now covers OVER half my life) houses several min-reasons... but the years themselves add up and you feel appreciation for the littlest things. Except you find yourself blessed with a family and it's no longer little - it's big. It's everything and it's so overwhelming that "you" are lost. I kind of got into it in the fatherhood vlog a couple entries back.   So - I am 42. I am middle-aged. I never think about it. I just don't give a fuck. I'm proud of everything I accomplish every year so time moving forward doesn't really upset me. You can't control that, you can just control what you do with that time. Look at these entries - I'm doing just fine.   And my family made me a cake.     All I need forever.   Adam