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1:08 PM, Thursday, September 28th 2017:   Vienna,   500 entries ago you were born. Remarkably, 1275 mixed the years of our births (2012, 1975) and 5 years later all I can do is shake my head at what has transpired. I presume you'll read this many years down the road so I'll let you know what I'm presently dealing with...   ...TK.   I am the opposite of most parents when it comes to September Birthdays that miss the cut. I'm royally pissed off you were held back because truth be told? You not only could be in Kindergarten now, you could be in 1st grade. Your push to learn is striking. You know you can read and you want more tools to read more and we're all hesitant to give them to you because it's only gonna make your UNBELIEVABLY BORING DAILY ROUTINE IN TK even worse. You're going through each letter of the alphabet...   ...FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING WEEK. You could do that before you were 2. This is just immensely painful for me. That being said? It doesn't really matter. You'll excel no matter what, there is no award at the end of college and socially, you're indeed growing leaps and bounds and enjoying that aspect of school. There is a tiny part of me that realizes with your fragile self-esteem, always being the smartest kid will probably help you whereas an epic struggle with something in the 1st grade now would harm you. But again, I don't want you to SKIP a grade, I just want you in Kindergarten where you'd fit in fine. Oh well. Hopefully next year at this time I... no, hopefully in TWO YEARS when you're freaking 7 I'll have gotten over this. LOL.   I also feel the need to say that for this specific project, our relationship will be more difficult to communicate than with Cam. I'm going to continue to find ways to make that right, because I know that presently his outgoing personality is just sooooooooooo perfect for a video blog. I've had conversations with you Vienna that are so far beyond your years and it means so much to me that I'm tearing up as I'm typing this. I am sooooooooooooo fucking excited for you and what you're going to accomplish. There isn't a lot of doubt around how you're going to turn out in my mind... which is why I'm having a hard time holding you back: I WANT YOU TO SOAR. You will. In time.   You also adore me right now. That's pretty great. I'm fully aware every single night that those moments may be limited and as you're reading this you may hate me for some reason or another. I also hold out the tiniest bit of hope that you'll be mature enough to understand my perspective. Because holy shit you seem to be mature enough NOW to do that, and according to every developmental guide to children I read you should NOT be able to do that. You remind me so much of myself. Believe it or not I was EXTREMELY shy when I was your age. I think only around my mom was I able to be goofy and sing, etc. Around 7, 8, 9 I grew out of that and never looked back, but watching your cautious moments remind me of how I felt. It's pretty wonderful.   Everything is pretty wonderful. Remember that when you read this again: we adore you, we adore Cam and almost nightly Mama and I tell each other how happy we are. We feel luckier than anyone we've known. I hope you feel that.   Love you, love you, love you,   Dada   PS - Oops! Almost forgot your song!     HAHAHAHA. Love you.