5:47 PM, Sunday, November 25th, 2016:
I've been doing this for the better part of two decades now. I've attempted to be funny. What I'm about to show you is easily the funniest video on this site and I have nothing to do with it. I have NO problem with that, because it's so funny I didn't even have time to think about that fact until I started this entry. I'll get into the laundry list of questions when you finish wheezing.
I'm not kidding - I almost puked. I almost puked editing it. Congestion I didn't even know I had came up in my lungs because I laughed so hard I started coughing up a lung. I guess that means I'm sick? I don't know. That was fucking hilarious. So whhhhhhhhhhhhy did I do that to my mother?
Maybe you don't know my mother.
I've always had a fairly adult relationship with her. She told me the truth from the time I could talk and spoke frankly about sex at an early age so, as she put it, "my dick wouldn't fall off." (STDs, etc.) I've always appreciated the candor. So of course when showing her the Vive I had to at least ask if she had any curiosity about "porn" in this new world. I'm serious that I see it as a form of evolution more than anything. You start to re-imagine the future world and all the implications the MOMENT you experience it. I explained I could just show her a half-naked girl, not exactly graphic, but you certainly understand how three-dimensional and visceral the experience is.
...and that really was it. I started a video that is simply a girl sitting in front of you gyrating, etc. It's like being in a virtual strip club. I proceeded to go into the kitchen to make drinks for me and Jimmy and figured she'd just watch a bit and we'd move on. But she kept it on and of course, it does ramp up a bit as the girl completely disrobes. Completely naive of me to think my mother would just take it off, it feels like you're being strapped into an MRI. That's when I pulled out the camera. And that's when my mother proved she is a comedian.
The majority of my sense of humor comes from my mother. It's a train of thought that lacks filters and a sense of timing that knows when to say it out loud or not. At times, my mother is stunningly on-point for when the funniest moment is to say what you're thinking. Other times it can get her fired or punched in the face. It's a fine line. What works so well about the video is that anyone who has actually experienced VR she's saying what you didn't even realize you were thinking. When you realize the model doesn't have underwear on it comes as a bit of a shock because it feels SO personal. When she then turns around and STRADDLES YOUR FACE it hits you in the stomach because again, it's three dimensional AND tracks your head movement no matter where you turn... it feels like you're at a strip club and you didn't really sign up for that. You didn't park the car, pay the guy, sit down, get situated. No, you were in my living room and then a FUCKING VAGINA is an inch from your face. Oh jesus, I have to watch it again...
Man, everything about the video works. Oh if I didn't want to further embarass my mother I would attempt to make that go viral, but as it stands, that will stay with my friends on facebook and my barren YouTube page. In the sea of a billion videos, you do indeed have to attempt to make things get popular no matter how funny they might be.
Alright, onto the Buckeye game tomorrow (so nervous, so nervous, so nervous) and hopefully a successful Delorean gig. Oh, about that - blew out my transmission (or so I thought) and this entire week my neighbor has been working on it. He was completely unresponsive on Thanksgiving (the day he wanted me to pick up the car because he was going out of town tonight). He finally responded this morning and he got every gear except FUCKING REVERSE to work. Oh well. If I get pushed out of my driveway it should work out... for a little bit. It's been an extremely stressful week. This video helped.
Yay, comedy.