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9:16 PM, Thursday, July 7th, 2016:   I feel absolutely powerless. Strangely, the answer seems clear to me, but completely unattainable: federal guidelines for training police officers. All of this is a training issue. I don't believe it's an attempt by racist cops to murder black people. Are they influenced by what they see? Of course. Do they have prejudices? Of course. All they see all day are low income situations that are predominantly black... but the bottom line is, the videos we're seeing lately are of policeman who are woefully undertrained on how to handle even the simplest situations. Their brains go to what is technically correct and not to what would defuse the situation...   ...but then there's the other issue that rings far more true to me. You're black. Just what exactly the fuck are you supposed to do to stay alive. Police asks for your ID. You go to grab it and get shot. Either way you're wrong. Reminds me of the Trayvon Martin song which I could probably update monthly...     ...this is what I do when I feel helpless. I just post emotional songs. This is why I'd be an awful president. And again, that's what really gets me: there are solutions here. Mandatory body cams and federal guidelines on hiring officers. People would yell overreach, but tough shit. Stop hiring complete fucking babies as officers. And this bullshit "thin blue line" when it comes to speaking out against fellow officers... that has to stop. Has to.   Wow... so it's the following morning and the news of the Dallas shooting hits in the midst of this entry. Is this the beginning of the end? Is this when gun regulation takes hold? Is this when accountability happens? When the hunters become the hunted? Fuck, man. What an afwful thing to presume after a night like last night but what do we expect is going to happen? Black people are completely powerless. They get killed, the courts do nothing, the police don't change, the videos mean little... it's terrorism now. If I'm not being heard, I will kill you. I will terrorize you until you listen. We never want to admit there's nothing random about terrorism. If we admit that we have to admit we have some culpability - and of course it's never acceptable to be a terrorist...   ...but if you want to underSTAND terrorism? It's best to look deeper into the issue than "oh, a crazy guy killed a bunch of policemen." Fuck this is awful.   Time to go hide in my backyard with my family pretending everything is OK out there.   Adam