4:27 PM, Wednesday, December 30th, 2015:
The last entry of the year is always an overview. This year however, the video will be missing the heart of The Journey, but often, so was this year...
I'm a big believer that when balancing your life it's best to see each section as a spoke on a wheel and not a priority list. However, one thing became quite clear this year: sometimes, that's just not possible. 2015 was a year where I had to sacrifice being selfish with my family and make a business the #1 priority because there was only one year that it could possibly work this well. And although it did allow me to personally have some incredible moments (as Don and I will speak about in the next entry), once you're a husband and a father, those personal moments feel incomplete when your family isn't part of them. Every single one of those moments for me were bittersweet. "God I wish Talya and the kids could see this." crossed my mind every time... AND every time we tried to think of a way to pull offa family trip... the logistics of having two toddlers made it impossible.
Part of that, is good. I think the best example sometimes for your kids is wearing a different hat in front of them. Dad isn't just a husband and a father, he's all these other things too. Mom doesn't just feed us and drive us around, she has all these other interests that make her, her. If you don't take that time for yourself to really build those qualityies you become so codependent on your label of mother/wife or father/husband that you do everyone a disservice. Especially for children who may not have the slightest idea how to be self-sufficient. So, in a small way, YAY! My kids will see this year someday as a very cool story...
...but to me it will always be a bummer they weren't a little older - because HOLY SHIT would they have loved to go on these adventures. By the time they are old enough, well even right now honestly, the moment is gone. Maybe once in a blue-moon they'll be able to come to a Back to the Future event and see how everyone digs their car - or get the opportunity to travel BECAUSE of it... but chances are, that ain't happening. Soooooo, it gets documented here and they click through it later. C'est La Vie.
The year for the family however was, again, an ass-kicker. Chaos. Not sleeping, tantrums, whew... just a whirlwind and of course, I'm hardly around to help because even when I'm here I'm on the phone non-stop and doing the work of at least 3 people. 3 people I couldn't really hire because, well, it's all over now. So I just kind of had to suck it up and sacrifice a lot of fun family stuff to get through the year.
That being said? I almost always got to help with bath-time, bed-time and come to think of it? I probably saw the kids more this year than most people with a 9-5, it's just a massive shift when you've been home 24-7. So I guess this entry is much ado about nothing. lol
Well shit. No, it's true - the family was a 2nd priority this year and I had no choice but to lump it all on Talya and say "Good luck.". She survived and grew a bunch as a momma and the past two years will certainly be looked back on as a great challenge. One that I've mentioned a little bit already, seems to be easing up. The kids are getting along, Cam still likes to get up an hour early and make the whole house nuts (realize an hour early is 4:45-5:00am for FUCK'S SAKE), but that will soon pass.
As will these moments in a bathtub...
Thank you, oh Journey website, for the discipline to have to keep producing. It means the world to me, our family and hopefully will provide some sort of inspiration for others.
Happy New Year,