- 11:30 PM, Monday,
               October 5th, 2015:
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - So this is
               probably overkill, but since I can't process the
               rental prices out here, I had to justify it with a
               freaking trailer for the GolfKon
               Guesthouse...
 
               
               -  
 
               
                
               
               -  
 
               
               - I put that up at
               8:30pm and have interest already. Couple people coming
               over tomorrow to see it. So about that
               rent...
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - One bedroom
               apartments in this area are now $1400-$1500...
               PLUS utilities. What the serious fuck. When did
               this happen? How can anyone afford to live here? Am I
               just out of touch? Are people living 3 to a room? How
               can this be sustained? And the problem is,
               I can't go much lower because it'll attract
               everyone who really CAN'T afford to live here. So
               I just have to go with the flow here. Ideally,
               it's rented to one person with no kids, pets nor
               smoking... but I have a feeling I'm going to have to
               accept somethign I don't like. The pet thing is
               non-negotiable... in fact, I should just post my
               ad:
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - ***
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - $1450 /
               1br - 600ft2 - Guesthouse With Delorean Time Machine
               (UTILS INCL!!) (North
               Hollywood)
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - So, you've
               happened upon the most unique rental... probably
               anywhere. For some of you, you'll watch this trailer
               and think "oh, cool..."
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - ...but for
               others, you will know that you belong in this
               guesthouse. It will be like someone poured your DNA
               into wood & cement and you will want very, very
               badly to live here. So without further delay, here's
               the video:
 
               
                
               
               -  
 
               
               - Now, let's
               whittle you all down with the details:
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - All utilities
               are included only because I'm tired of arguing with
               people about their usage. Almost all of our appliances
               in our house run on gas, yet because of the guesthouse
               our electric bill is often $250-$350 per month.
               Technically we should at least be splitting that, but
               renters don't like surprises (homeowners are used to
               them constantly) and in the end it's easier to include
               them. However, one tenant ran their air conditioning
               day and night for 50 straight days and the bill was
               $1000 for two months. Mother. Fucker. Don't be that
               guy. Please be considerate. Turn shit off when you
               leave. If you don't, your stay will be short-lived.
               Also, I don't consider internet a utility as our last
               two renters just used their unlimited data on their
               phones, etc. You're welcome to chip-in for our wifi
               (may have to upgrade speed) which would be $25-$30 per
               month. I have wifi extenders all over the property so
               reaching the guesthouse is no problem.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - It's 600 square
               feet. It's not HUGE for a 1-bedroom apartment, but the
               last tenants (a newly married couple with a MASSIVE
               dog) lived here for 2 1/2 years, finally moving to
               Austin at the end of September and had no problem with
               the space because the layout is well designed. And the
               good news is? You won't have to worry about a massive
               dog because...
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - No Pets. No
               exceptions. Why? Because my cousin who visits often
               from Anaheim is deathly allergic to cats and our dogs,
               while wonderful to humans, will lose their ever-loving
               fucking minds if a cat is within 100 feet of them.
               They have caught a stray cat that wondered into the
               yard a couple years back... wasn't pretty. I don't
               want to deal with it, and I do understand this knocks
               quite a few of you out. I also won't retrain a new dog
               to not piss or shit on the greens, dogs instinctively
               see grass or something close to it - and do that. It's
               extremely difficult to deal with and I just don't want
               to do it. There is no amount of pet deposit, nor
               promise of you cleaning up after them I will accept. I
               know some of you will still try to convince me, and I
               respect your "go-getter" attitude, but I figured I
               would write this paragraph anyway.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - You may smoke
               on the back deck! That nice little 3x20 foot space in
               the video is surprisingly useful. My previous tenants
               were quite creative and spent a lot of time out there
               hanging out. Put up plants, chairs... it never
               occurred to me the space was big enough for that, but
               I had no problem with them smoking back there and true
               to their word, they really didn't smoke in the house.
               Made for an easy transition with a fresh coat of paint
               and a new carpet!
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - You're
               absolutely welcome to use the minigolf/bar space
               whenever you'd like as long as you give me some
               warning and clean up after yourself. I have 6 charity
               tournaments a year and also shoot an interview show on
               it every now and then, but will give you plenty of
               warning for that. I want you to enjoy the space,
               invite people over. We love it.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - About us, we do
               have two small children, one 3 years old and the other
               2 on Christmas (poor bastard) but the good news for
               you is, you're actually further away from our house
               than our neighbors. The guesthouse is really well
               suited for sound and we barely heard our previous
               tenants and vice-versa. I'm in here typing now - and
               it's pretty remarkable. In fact so much so, this might
               not be posted for awhile, I'm enjoying it. Ha. We're
               very respectful if our kids are out back playing when
               our tenants might be asleep, etc. We also have a front
               yard they can play in if that's the case... but
               although we don't have to all be great friends, you
               should generally not detest children. We don't want to
               have to tiptoe around our own property because of the
               scowling asshole living in our
               backyard.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - And in the end?
               That's what this really comes down to. We have to be
               on the same page. There will be an interview process
               before you even see the property (facetime/skype)
               because, again, this is a very special situation and
               we want a good fit. So far we've been very lucky with
               that.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - I'm planning on
               building a raised frame for the Queen-Sized bed so
               tenants have a workspace and more storage underneath
               but since not everyone will need that, I'm waiting
               until we secure a tenant to build that. I can knock it
               out in a day...
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - And yes, the
               biggest "pro" to this rental is I'm the handyman, I'm
               almost always home, and since I built everything by
               hand, I can fix it all when the time comes very
               quickly. You won't spend weeks with an annoying leak,
               etc. I'm always fixing stuff up on the course and am
               very accessible. 
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - Alright, that
               pretty much covers it. I'm extremely excited to meet
               you! As you might guess, I love this place. I wish I
               could afford to just have this as a studio, but alas,
               not yet.
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - ***
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - Seems pretty
               clear. Hope we can find a good fit!
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - (of all the
               months to do this)
 
               
               -  
 
               
               - Adam
 
             
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