11:30 PM, Monday, October 5th, 2015:
So this is probably overkill, but since I can't process the rental prices out here, I had to justify it with a freaking trailer for the GolfKon Guesthouse...
I put that up at 8:30pm and have interest already. Couple people coming over tomorrow to see it. So about that rent...
One bedroom apartments in this area are now $1400-$1500... PLUS utilities. What the serious fuck. When did this happen? How can anyone afford to live here? Am I just out of touch? Are people living 3 to a room? How can this be sustained? And the problem is, I can't go much lower because it'll attract everyone who really CAN'T afford to live here. So I just have to go with the flow here. Ideally, it's rented to one person with no kids, pets nor smoking... but I have a feeling I'm going to have to accept somethign I don't like. The pet thing is non-negotiable... in fact, I should just post my ad:
$1450 / 1br - 600ft2 - Guesthouse With Delorean Time Machine (UTILS INCL!!) (North Hollywood)
So, you've happened upon the most unique rental... probably anywhere. For some of you, you'll watch this trailer and think "oh, cool..."
...but for others, you will know that you belong in this guesthouse. It will be like someone poured your DNA into wood & cement and you will want very, very badly to live here. So without further delay, here's the video:
Now, let's whittle you all down with the details:
All utilities are included only because I'm tired of arguing with people about their usage. Almost all of our appliances in our house run on gas, yet because of the guesthouse our electric bill is often $250-$350 per month. Technically we should at least be splitting that, but renters don't like surprises (homeowners are used to them constantly) and in the end it's easier to include them. However, one tenant ran their air conditioning day and night for 50 straight days and the bill was $1000 for two months. Mother. Fucker. Don't be that guy. Please be considerate. Turn shit off when you leave. If you don't, your stay will be short-lived. Also, I don't consider internet a utility as our last two renters just used their unlimited data on their phones, etc. You're welcome to chip-in for our wifi (may have to upgrade speed) which would be $25-$30 per month. I have wifi extenders all over the property so reaching the guesthouse is no problem.
It's 600 square feet. It's not HUGE for a 1-bedroom apartment, but the last tenants (a newly married couple with a MASSIVE dog) lived here for 2 1/2 years, finally moving to Austin at the end of September and had no problem with the space because the layout is well designed. And the good news is? You won't have to worry about a massive dog because...
No Pets. No exceptions. Why? Because my cousin who visits often from Anaheim is deathly allergic to cats and our dogs, while wonderful to humans, will lose their ever-loving fucking minds if a cat is within 100 feet of them. They have caught a stray cat that wondered into the yard a couple years back... wasn't pretty. I don't want to deal with it, and I do understand this knocks quite a few of you out. I also won't retrain a new dog to not piss or shit on the greens, dogs instinctively see grass or something close to it - and do that. It's extremely difficult to deal with and I just don't want to do it. There is no amount of pet deposit, nor promise of you cleaning up after them I will accept. I know some of you will still try to convince me, and I respect your "go-getter" attitude, but I figured I would write this paragraph anyway.
You may smoke on the back deck! That nice little 3x20 foot space in the video is surprisingly useful. My previous tenants were quite creative and spent a lot of time out there hanging out. Put up plants, chairs... it never occurred to me the space was big enough for that, but I had no problem with them smoking back there and true to their word, they really didn't smoke in the house. Made for an easy transition with a fresh coat of paint and a new carpet!
You're absolutely welcome to use the minigolf/bar space whenever you'd like as long as you give me some warning and clean up after yourself. I have 6 charity tournaments a year and also shoot an interview show on it every now and then, but will give you plenty of warning for that. I want you to enjoy the space, invite people over. We love it.
About us, we do have two small children, one 3 years old and the other 2 on Christmas (poor bastard) but the good news for you is, you're actually further away from our house than our neighbors. The guesthouse is really well suited for sound and we barely heard our previous tenants and vice-versa. I'm in here typing now - and it's pretty remarkable. In fact so much so, this might not be posted for awhile, I'm enjoying it. Ha. We're very respectful if our kids are out back playing when our tenants might be asleep, etc. We also have a front yard they can play in if that's the case... but although we don't have to all be great friends, you should generally not detest children. We don't want to have to tiptoe around our own property because of the scowling asshole living in our backyard.
And in the end? That's what this really comes down to. We have to be on the same page. There will be an interview process before you even see the property (facetime/skype) because, again, this is a very special situation and we want a good fit. So far we've been very lucky with that.
I'm planning on building a raised frame for the Queen-Sized bed so tenants have a workspace and more storage underneath but since not everyone will need that, I'm waiting until we secure a tenant to build that. I can knock it out in a day...
And yes, the biggest "pro" to this rental is I'm the handyman, I'm almost always home, and since I built everything by hand, I can fix it all when the time comes very quickly. You won't spend weeks with an annoying leak, etc. I'm always fixing stuff up on the course and am very accessible.
Alright, that pretty much covers it. I'm extremely excited to meet you! As you might guess, I love this place. I wish I could afford to just have this as a studio, but alas, not yet.
Seems pretty clear. Hope we can find a good fit!
(of all the months to do this)