- 11:30 PM, Monday,
October 5th, 2015:
-
- So this is
probably overkill, but since I can't process the
rental prices out here, I had to justify it with a
freaking trailer for the GolfKon
Guesthouse...
-
-
- I put that up at
8:30pm and have interest already. Couple people coming
over tomorrow to see it. So about that
rent...
-
- One bedroom
apartments in this area are now $1400-$1500...
PLUS utilities. What the serious fuck. When did
this happen? How can anyone afford to live here? Am I
just out of touch? Are people living 3 to a room? How
can this be sustained? And the problem is,
I can't go much lower because it'll attract
everyone who really CAN'T afford to live here. So
I just have to go with the flow here. Ideally,
it's rented to one person with no kids, pets nor
smoking... but I have a feeling I'm going to have to
accept somethign I don't like. The pet thing is
non-negotiable... in fact, I should just post my
ad:
-
- ***
-
- $1450 /
1br - 600ft2 - Guesthouse With Delorean Time Machine
(UTILS INCL!!) (North
Hollywood)
-
- So, you've
happened upon the most unique rental... probably
anywhere. For some of you, you'll watch this trailer
and think "oh, cool..."
-
- ...but for
others, you will know that you belong in this
guesthouse. It will be like someone poured your DNA
into wood & cement and you will want very, very
badly to live here. So without further delay, here's
the video:
-
- Now, let's
whittle you all down with the details:
-
- All utilities
are included only because I'm tired of arguing with
people about their usage. Almost all of our appliances
in our house run on gas, yet because of the guesthouse
our electric bill is often $250-$350 per month.
Technically we should at least be splitting that, but
renters don't like surprises (homeowners are used to
them constantly) and in the end it's easier to include
them. However, one tenant ran their air conditioning
day and night for 50 straight days and the bill was
$1000 for two months. Mother. Fucker. Don't be that
guy. Please be considerate. Turn shit off when you
leave. If you don't, your stay will be short-lived.
Also, I don't consider internet a utility as our last
two renters just used their unlimited data on their
phones, etc. You're welcome to chip-in for our wifi
(may have to upgrade speed) which would be $25-$30 per
month. I have wifi extenders all over the property so
reaching the guesthouse is no problem.
-
- It's 600 square
feet. It's not HUGE for a 1-bedroom apartment, but the
last tenants (a newly married couple with a MASSIVE
dog) lived here for 2 1/2 years, finally moving to
Austin at the end of September and had no problem with
the space because the layout is well designed. And the
good news is? You won't have to worry about a massive
dog because...
-
- No Pets. No
exceptions. Why? Because my cousin who visits often
from Anaheim is deathly allergic to cats and our dogs,
while wonderful to humans, will lose their ever-loving
fucking minds if a cat is within 100 feet of them.
They have caught a stray cat that wondered into the
yard a couple years back... wasn't pretty. I don't
want to deal with it, and I do understand this knocks
quite a few of you out. I also won't retrain a new dog
to not piss or shit on the greens, dogs instinctively
see grass or something close to it - and do that. It's
extremely difficult to deal with and I just don't want
to do it. There is no amount of pet deposit, nor
promise of you cleaning up after them I will accept. I
know some of you will still try to convince me, and I
respect your "go-getter" attitude, but I figured I
would write this paragraph anyway.
-
- You may smoke
on the back deck! That nice little 3x20 foot space in
the video is surprisingly useful. My previous tenants
were quite creative and spent a lot of time out there
hanging out. Put up plants, chairs... it never
occurred to me the space was big enough for that, but
I had no problem with them smoking back there and true
to their word, they really didn't smoke in the house.
Made for an easy transition with a fresh coat of paint
and a new carpet!
-
- You're
absolutely welcome to use the minigolf/bar space
whenever you'd like as long as you give me some
warning and clean up after yourself. I have 6 charity
tournaments a year and also shoot an interview show on
it every now and then, but will give you plenty of
warning for that. I want you to enjoy the space,
invite people over. We love it.
-
- About us, we do
have two small children, one 3 years old and the other
2 on Christmas (poor bastard) but the good news for
you is, you're actually further away from our house
than our neighbors. The guesthouse is really well
suited for sound and we barely heard our previous
tenants and vice-versa. I'm in here typing now - and
it's pretty remarkable. In fact so much so, this might
not be posted for awhile, I'm enjoying it. Ha. We're
very respectful if our kids are out back playing when
our tenants might be asleep, etc. We also have a front
yard they can play in if that's the case... but
although we don't have to all be great friends, you
should generally not detest children. We don't want to
have to tiptoe around our own property because of the
scowling asshole living in our
backyard.
-
- And in the end?
That's what this really comes down to. We have to be
on the same page. There will be an interview process
before you even see the property (facetime/skype)
because, again, this is a very special situation and
we want a good fit. So far we've been very lucky with
that.
-
- I'm planning on
building a raised frame for the Queen-Sized bed so
tenants have a workspace and more storage underneath
but since not everyone will need that, I'm waiting
until we secure a tenant to build that. I can knock it
out in a day...
-
- And yes, the
biggest "pro" to this rental is I'm the handyman, I'm
almost always home, and since I built everything by
hand, I can fix it all when the time comes very
quickly. You won't spend weeks with an annoying leak,
etc. I'm always fixing stuff up on the course and am
very accessible.
-
- Alright, that
pretty much covers it. I'm extremely excited to meet
you! As you might guess, I love this place. I wish I
could afford to just have this as a studio, but alas,
not yet.
-
- ***
-
- Seems pretty
clear. Hope we can find a good fit!
-
- (of all the
months to do this)
-
- Adam
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