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1:09 PM, Monday, September 28th, 2015:   Three years. It feels like three years. Nothing flies for you when you document the world like I do. I know exactly what 3 years feels like. The only period time was slow or fast was pre-Journey. Wayyyyyyyyy back then.   So yes, Vienna is THREEEEEEEEEE. And Ernie wanted to sing her a song...     It's funny, I thought I had at least one more year of the monthly video clips during the birthday song but 2 and 3 look damn near identical. Less baby fat, a little taller - but it's nothing like the changes the first 2 years. Maybe now I'll do something on the 5/10/15/20 years. Who knows.   So who is Vienna Kontras at 3? Depends on the MINUTE. Heh. She's two people: a sweet, funny, giggling girl who loves making up games with Cameron, eating popcorn and watching The Muffets (not a typo, just how she says it). She's already fiercely independent at times and not even remotely cuddly. I asked for a hug one time, she gave me one, then a few minutes later I asked again (it was a tough day) and she stopped, looked at me and said:  "OK, but just one more time." - hugged me and went back to what she was doing. The hug was also the "is this enough of a hug to have him shut up?" type of hug.   (sigh)   I didn't think that would happen at 2, but it did. From everything I've read, she's been very "three" since about 2 1/2. She was also very "two" at around 14 months old so hopefully we get past that OTHER Vienna... the one that screams when Cam looks at her and cries about the color green. The one that refuses to take a bath and will cry and scream as if her skin is being peeled off when you do indeed end up putting her in the bath because, well, SHE NEEDS A BATH. Strong willed is putting it lightly. Strong willed implies she has a goal for her insanity... she often doesn't. She's losing her shit about absolutely nothing. Whereas Cam has the normal toddler meltdowns, Vienna is anxious about EVERYTHING and melts, the ever-loving fuck, down. To the point where the rest of the family just goes about their business because she refuses to talk or express anything but crying. I actually catch her just playing with her voice in these moments. Just going up and down expecting a reaction. Sometimes I can snap her out of it, ofter only time does. Here, this will make more sense:   Ya know how if a kid doesn't want to eat their dinner, and you say fine, you don't have to eat... how the really hardcore kid will refuse the WHOLE night and go to bed hungry... and will then realize - oh shit that sucked, maybe I should try to eat something. Guys, we send Vienna to bed hungry literally 50% of the time. She eats nothing, refuses everything and drinks water and sits in her bed. She gives NO fucks. If she doesn't want that food? She will happily not eat the rest of the night... and then of course eat like crazy in the morning... but it's stunning her willingness to go hungry rather than try something she doesn't want to try. We never make her her own meal, we never budge... and it makes NO difference. She drinks water and goes to bed.   This seems negative, doesn't it? Understand, that this entry isn't for Vienna to read, though she will when she's old enough - it's just documenting what's in MY head being a father. Of course I'm gonna be honest. Of course I'm a little worried about her behavior at times, but I've seen other kids lose their shit, so time will tell. It just seems other kids lose their shit ABOUT something. Like if you've ever seen that website "why my son is crying", with pictures of kids in hysterics because you said he couldn't play in traffic, etc. THAT is what Cameron is like... but there's actually a reason (no matter how silly). Vienna's stuff is all completely inside her head and she often doesn't communicate it (though she can talk perfectly). It's spooky at times. I am concerned. But (and here we go), it could also be the difference between girls and boys. Time, will, tell.   I will say this though, nearly every evening without fail - she's that first kid. The hour before bedtime she is as sweet and loving as anything on earth. Heaven forbid I may have had a little alcohol by this point? I'm almost always holding back tears at how sweet she is. Her giggling and wonder and spirit just melt me. I hope everything else balances out just a little before the teens hit because I'd like to know my little girl for more than one hour a day for a few years before she hates me. I used to think I'd find a way to avoid that phase... but it's preeeeeeeeettttttttttttttty clear I won't. Cam already realizes that. I mean, we're already having to tell him to play by himself in another room because Vienna's having a hard time. Meaning, she's screaming at the top of her lungs because you exist and speaking in tongues so we have no idea what to do... you'd better just play by yourself until this passes. That's teenage shit. It's scary. I do actually feel for him. I've noticed him being aggressive with other kids at the playground because he's so used to battling Vienna's energy 24-7, he assumes EVERYONE is coming at him like that.   Here's hopin' I'm writing something different at 4. But know, that I do live for those moments at the end of the day where she's the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed.   I love you so much, Vienna.   Adam