5:45 PM, Monday, January 12th, 2015:
Well we are about 45 minutes from Kick-off, the car is parked in the ballroom and everything is running itself without the need for me to babysit... it's entry time.
ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!
So yes, Jimmy and I towed the Delorean Time Machine all the way to just north of Phoenix to stay with some of his friends last night, and then back down to Glendale today for the big event. Remarkably, at the hotel directly across from the site of the Superbowl... but I'm getting ahead of myself...
I have spent the last 10 days sick as a dog. I have some sort of virus that is draining my energy to unprecedented levels and on top of that, a regular old coughing/sick type cold that I cannot kick. I've had a TON of stuff to do to get ready for this trip but my body could barely do one errand a day before I literally would crash into the bed and have to sleep mid-day. This is crazy. Each morning I think I'm gonna be better and inevitably I'm worse. I know I should go to a doctor but to be honest?  I haven't been able to afford that errand (which would be the entirety of my day) because I absolutely have to make this Arizona Roadtrip as it's a literal fuckton of money for the company. It required however getting a car hauler for my new explorer which proved to be one helluva mess. First off, I needed to upgrade to a Class III/IV hitch for 5,000 to 7,500 lbs instead of the 3,500 pound limit of my Class II hitch. Not a big deal, I'm handy - I can do this. I go to a Ford Dealer, buy the RIDICULOUSLY expensive new hitch (Like $750 what the serious fuck) and as I'm going through the steps to install it (mind you the only thing I could do that day 'cause I felt like I was dying)... I come across a step that I actually can't believe. There's a picture of the frame of the car with a CUT line. You know, like in kindergarten when they showed you where to cut paper? Yeah, that was for the STEEL FUCKING FRAME that I needed to cut off in order to then BOLT the new hitch to.
Come on.
I call Ford and ask if they would install it and they said sure. I happen to throw in "yeah, I have no way of cutting the frame of my car to do this"... to which the guy goes "WHAT? Uhm, neither do we. Are you serious?" Come to find out that that's absolutely insane and even specialized trailer hitch places I call say although they've done it, there has to be an after market hitch that will do. I end up just returning the factory hitch and agreeing with the dude. I find one online at etrailers.com and it's to arrive on Friday, I leave on Sunday, this is close - but it's a simple bolt onto the old one and I just have to get a torque wrench to finish it off.
Then I go to make my reservation for the car hauler with U-Haul. After filling everything out I hit enter and find out that because of an on-going lawsuit involving a Ford Explorer, they won't rent to explorers. At all. They site it's not a safety issue (no shit they rented a trailer to my CAMRY and a 4cylinder pick-up truck that nearly ripped off Jessica's bumper in 2000), but this lawsuit (about TIRES believe it or not) is an absolute pain in the ass. Besides, this way they can upsell you to one of THEIR trucks to tow and make even more money.
I'm beside myself at this point. My car is awesome, it's a V8, it has a transmission cooler, the hitch is going to be upgraded... but U-Haul is CLEARLY the choice, they're all over here. I look up EVERY, OTHER, rental place and ALL of them say you have to ALSO rent their truck in order to rent their hauler. At $1 a mile, you can imagine the issue. That's why I BOUGHT THE EXPLORER in the first place. And NOWHERE on their site to they mention the fucking Explorer ban until you put in 15 minutes of info. Ya fucktards, why do you even HAVE EXPLORER in your DROP-DOWN MENU! GODDDDDDDDDDDDDAMNIT.
So I end up finding a local guy about 35 minutes away who will rent it to me. A bit more expensive, but at this point I'm about to buy my own ($2000) and just leave it on the street. I mean, I don't WANT to, but what choice am I gonna have?!?!?
Saturday I go to pick it up? Lights don't work. I need a $50 adapter. Of fucking course I do. After getting THAT there's still issues, but the guy was cool enough to spend nearly an hour with me getting it to work. By the end I have a right turn signal, no left turn signal, but I have running lights and brake lights. That's enough for me. Besides, because it's a car hauler you can still see the turn signals on the CAR even when hauling. So we're good...
...except for the fact that it's raining and we have to leave at nearly 3pm because of a Sunday morning gig to make what will be an almost 8 hour trip. Which means? All night and rain driving while towing nearly 6,000 fucking pounds behind you. And guess who forgot the Ojai to Arizona climb that goes from sea level to 2000 feet. 1000 of that in a TEN MILE STRETCH that was so ridiculous we were going 24 mphat one point. Now, I probably could've pushed my transmission and gone a bit faster, but I figured as long as I was moving? It didn't matter how slow it was and I would be saving my transmission in the end. And, in fact, it worked. On flat levels I could easily go 55-65 mph with zero strain (in fact got really good gas mileage somehow) and on hills, yeah it would dip into the 40s a few times (24 mph was just for a minute, but it was a scary fucking minute), but we had no overheating issues. Even had a nice guy at a rest-stop top off our coolant for us. Had it been day-time and we weren't following a fucking DOWNPOUR the whole way? It would've been less stressful. We made it, we brought the Time Machine here mid-day... even snuck it into the Superbowl for some pics:
SO AWESOME. And of course security came and we had to run. ;-)
Which leads us to the fact that we are FIVE MINUTES FROM KICKOFF HOLY SHIT. I won't have the video done until tomorrow, but I'll put a taste of us FREAKING out during the game at the end and of course, win or lose, the next entry will be completely about the game. Has to be.
So here's the video slot:
Ahhhhh it kills me that you fuckers see a taste of our reaction before I DO!!!! hahahaha. GO BUCKS. KILLER ROAD-TRIP. BTTF 2015 4 LIFE!