12:51 PM, Tuesday, January 28th, 2014:
Strange how life hands you little glimpses of chapters you'll never have...
So during this first month of what both Talya and I assumed would be complete chaos? We've found, peace, routine and a general ease into 2 kids 15 months apart by inadvertently becoming "Single Parents". It didn't seem that would be the outcome when we started, but we are certainly here and it's kinda cool. It's temporary (until Cameron sleeps through the night or is at least down to one feeding) but there's a beauty in that: it's like living a different life. Why so seperate?
I mentioned before that I moved into the den area so I can try and get some uninterrupted sleep before Vienna BOUNDS back onto the scene at 7am. Talya stays in the bedroom with Cameron until 11am which is certainly a luxury for new parents. It's how we got through Vienna. We still got 8 hours of sleep, it just took us 12 hours to get 'em. ;-) So I spend the entire morning until Vienna's noon nap as a single father. And even once Talya & Cam are up and about? I'm still the lead caretaker (bath, bedtime ritual, etc) as Cameron is still a bit "needy" being 1 month old and all. It's a great system with some obvious drawbacks:
1) Talya misses Vienna and vice-versa. Vienna is quickly becoming a "maybe she's advanced for her age" baby... to a "holy shit, how is she to this stage 6 months early" baby. It's some wonderful shit to witness. She's now mixing together words with signs putting together 2 and 3 word sentences and completely fucking with my head. Her ability to unlock, then find her favorite learning apps on an iPad is stunning (though not necessarily advanced) and in general her incessant need to flip through every, freaking, book, she has for well over an hour with the focus of... christ... a 3 or 4 year old? It's actually unsettling.
2) I know Cameron about as well as I know newborns on my Facebook newsfeed. Since Talya is breastfeeding and he's hardly awake (and even when he is I'm chasing Vienna down)? There's literally no connection. Not that I'm upset at all, this system is saving our collective butts for the next couple months, but wow - I feel as distant from that little dude as I would someone else's baby. It's creepy. Whereas the first 6 weeks with Vienna I was hands-on completely 50-50 (Talya was pumping since Vienna wouldn't breastfeed, so I could help) there's simply none of that with Cam. Talya and I are talking about having some swap days where I take Cam for 2 days in a row while she pumps and hangs with Vienna. It's incredible how disconnected you can feel.
3) Uhm, I don't sleep in the same room as my wife. :-( At first I figured, it's no big deal - we still hang out in bed, watch the iPad and, uhm, <insert euphamism like 'watch the iPad'>, at which point I just go through a door and sleep THERE instead of rolling over, but it certainly feels isolated.
Then of course? You throw in my time with Vienna which is intense. Like, I finally feel I have a grasp on what single parents go through with their children. There's a connection that can become your entire world if you're not careful. This coming from a guy who was already a "stay-at-home" dad her first 15 months... but something about that much uninterrupted one-on-one time and you become best friends. And since her ability to communicate is progressing so fast, it's more emotional than ever. I'm amazed (and this is true with all kids at this age) at how much she actually understands although she can't say the words yet. "Go get your putter!" "Put the ball in the hole!" She does it. "Where are your shoes?" She gets 'em. So to spend this month with her one-on-one has been absolutely priceless. I look forward to all 4 of us being together again in a couple months but like nearly everything on my "Journey", I'm appreciating the present chapters, no matter how temporary they are. In fact that's why I can enjoy them. ;-)
Can I also say that the blossoming relationship between Vienna and LeeLoo is about the greatest thing ever. Dogs are toddlers at heart and with LeeLoo's size, they're just made for each other.
Alright, my dad will be here in 3 days to meet Cam, hang with the family and of course... COMPETE IN THE FIRST GOLFKON MAJOR OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Expect a video of us playing and a teaser video for the new 2014 season. Super-pumped.