- 5:41 PM, Friday,
January 24th, 2014:
-
- Those are actual
things in my life. There's now a "Nana" and there's a
"Grandkids". It baffles me to even write that entry
title. My Nana died over a dozen years ago and the
plurality of "grandkids" to a guy who was single and
hopeless at 35 never ceases to outright stun
me.
-
- And they're no
longer dogs. You know, the running joke when you just
have pets? They're you're children, and to creative
parents those are their "Grandpuppies". But now they
all actually exist (no offense pups) and I suddenly
feel like I'm in the future. Knowing you're done with
the "having" phase forces the reflection without
a doubt. Something I thought about my whole life
(wife & kids) is here. My mom flew out to visit
them, my father will in a week... you just have to
shake your head sometimes.
-
- I think what
I grasp now more than anything is that after 20
years of constant change - my life has now
actually arrived. The next 20 years will be quite
similar. It will be up to me to spice things up as
opposed to the past where my chosen career provided
all the spice necessary and a few tons more than
I needed. I actually feel in control of my life
for probably the first time ever. That has to sound so
bizarre to all of my enemies who consider me
"controlling". I shun control at every step, or at
least did. I handed it to women, managers,
executives... I searched for direction so intensely
that anyone with an idea got a shot at my life. It ate
me alive. Now I have my family, in my house and
it's surrounded by love. Love not only of each other,
but love within every square inch of this property.
This house is a family member that requires constant
care.
-
- Sharing that with
my parents is a proudness I've never quite felt
before. My father was always proud of my talents in
the entertainment industry and though it stressed her
out, my mother was too - but having a home, most of
which you built by yourself, and a wife and kids...
it's just such a permanent achievement. It isn't a
Comedy Central pilot that is completely in someone
else's hands. Hell it isn't even a relationship where
the other party will "change their mind". We're all
invested in this and when my parents visit? We will
always be here. I'm not sure why the arrival of
Cameron has hit that home anymore than Vienna or hell,
even completing GolfKon. I guess it's that
completion. We're all here, and now we get to grow.
And hopefully we'll have better photo-ops than this in
time:
-
-
- Heh.
-
- I miss my mom. She
seems to remember who she was and who she can be after
about 3 or 4 days here. I wonder if anyone talks to
her the way I do? Funny thing about your parents,
in so many ways you know them better than anyone yet
we don't always remember that. So often that
relationship is viewed in how THEY know YOU. The
reverse is true as well. We've seen them through so
many stages. Hell, my mom was 21 when she had me.
I remember her 20s. Well.
-
- So many
memories... and from now on? It's Nana & The
Grandkids. Remarkable.
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