- 10:22 PM, Friday,
January 10th, 2014:
-
- Wow, so
I guess Cameron is 16 days old today because
January 10th is his due date and he was 16 days early.
Crazy. And I won the holy shit sweepstakes because of
a cancelled meeting a couple days ago
so....
-
- I WAS HOME ALONE FIRST!
-
- Yes, that
frightening prospect was going to Talya first, but a
meeting was cancelled and on the 8th, I got the
honor as Talya had a doctor's appointment she was
running late for - and getting the 4 of us there on
time was not possible. So mama jumped in the car and
I was, gasp, alone with the kiddos. It went a
little something like this:
-
-
- I love that
Vienna's actually singing along with me at the end of
that. :-)
-
- It was actually a
fun couple of hours as I had to just process how
it was even possible that I was sitting with 2 of
my kids when a little over 3 years ago, I hadn't
even met Talya. Baffling for a guy who was on such a
different course in life. But ya know what I'm struck
with? How happy we were with Vienna to get through
certain phases. For whatever reason, hitting each
milestone seemed permanent because your brain doesn't
actually think about it happening more than once. Even
though we always wanted two - something happens when
you have your first where you don't process the
temporary-ness of putting away that bottle steamer. Or
having a floppy neck that you have to support. Or
"Tummy Time". When you get past those milestones?
You're 100% focused on the next ones and then suddenly
ONE YEAR LATER you start over? It's a bit of
a shock to your system. If you have 2 or 3 years
between them you start to feel a little nostalgic
about those moments. Less than 15 months later? It
feels kind of like you raked the leaves and the next
day you found that someone knocked over the can and
REsprawled it all over your front lawn.
-
- Now, of course,
that's the logical side of it. Emotionally it's still
a bit like magic to spend time with a newborn... but
the fact that we had them SO close together does keep
you from having a chance to catch your breath and
reminisce. Still wouldn't change it for the world,
because this phase is soooooooooooo fast. I mean,
super-fast. By summer? We will have 2 kids capable of
playing together and by 2015? LOOKDAFUCKOUT. We will
pray for the calm days of 2014 when Cameron couldn't
walk. :-)
-
- And that's the
thing, I really don't think "The books" or "The sites"
hit home. Whatever you think is hard? Ends so fast
that it can barely register as a thing. For whatever
reason I instinctively knew that with Vienna and
enjoyed the SHIT out of her first 6 weeks. I was so
thrilled and appreciative of having this being in my
arms I enjoyed every sleepless night and diaper
change...
-
- ...with Cameron?
That luxury simply doesn't exist. Not when there's a
toddler that needs desperately to do EVERYTHING.
IMMEDIATELY. No, my moments with Cam are passing
glances. Funny faces. Little moments between feedings.
It's all a massive blur and I'm afraid it will remain
that way until our house is back together again. The
split-up aspect of it is wonderful for actually
sleeping and accomplishing goals and whathaveyou - but
I've yet to spend the hours upon hours with Cam
I got with Vienna. And conversely, Talya misses
Vienna terribly. Vienna however is lovin' the shit out
of the attention and with her Nana comin' on Tuesday,
it's another week of fun.
-
- Of course this
entry's video marks 6 straight of every vid being
kid-centered. I mean, I know it's my life
and this chaos is temporary... but I'm itchin' man.
I really am. I have a lot to give. I have a
ton I want to write about. I'm schemin' some
career stuff with a guy from the (now defunct)
writer's group and of course - GOLFKON!!!! Three weeks
from Sunday marks the first event of the year!!! I'm
doing a lot of little improvements around the course
that I'm gonna cover in an entry before February
2nd... and damnit, I really have no choice but to
write an entry about the whole "celebrity writer"
fiasco which is mind-blowing. I'll leave out his name
and the site so they'll never be tagged or searchable
(even though you can go back to Halloween and find it
all), but I can't leave that hanging as a story
teller. And believe me, had I known he could've
flaked on it after coming? I never would've
mentioned him. And the site has fuck-all to do with it
because although he pitched the initial idea to them,
they never saw a story ('cause he never wrote one) and
have no idea what actually happened. So, just ugh. I
have to get something other than ME to link
businesses and charities to about GolfKon or I'm never
gonna get sponsors or charities involved. Everyone
says to just make my own charity - but fuck that. I
don't want some sleazy tax write-off shield. I already
give all my time and money to it for free, I just
want businesses to jump on that and donate to the
charity to be a part of it. I'll find a way, it'll
just probably take a full year from when
I thought of doing it: The Memorial this year. Oh
well, if it has to be it has to be.
-
- But when you hear
this cat's excuse for not writing it, you will shake
your head. Fucking Hollywood. Just when you think
you're out... they
PULL YOU BACK IN.
-
- Adam
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