2:10 PM, Thursday, December 12th, 2013:
So I had a couple hours to myself which usually means I start recording stuff and see what comes out. Just kinda let your mind wander and I came up with this little story...
Ahhhhh, Donna. It has been awhile. No doubt what that was about. I still sort of see those two people as characters in a book. Tragic little story. And an exhausting one at that. It's so clear I'm singing an octave lower than the song is written and that's with good reason: I had no energy to give anymore. Just telling the story depleted me.
All these years later what strikes me most is that during Donna? The most intense creative period of my life. On CBS, doing 10 jobs at once with my most successful year of my entire career. ALL while dealing with a home-life I can barely remember because I've blocked so much out. What if. The dreaded what-if starts to linger in when thinking of that time period because of what I might have been able to give to my career had there been some sort of support system. Now granted, I gave goddamned everything - but I knew the entire year I needed a killer agent and/or manager to make the most out of the opportunity and there simply weren't enough hours in the day to make that happen. Thankfully I did enough to get the Comedy Central shot a couple years later, but I should've easily been at the very least hosting on a cable network with my experience. It was an opportunity missed and had everything to do with how much I was trying to juggle...
...so I think of it now? As utter exhaustion. And that song feels like that. I always think it's hard to remember but man, I started writing and my tone got lower, and as the guitar strummed too fast, I could barely keep up the talking/singing. It really feels like it's of that time. And that's what I dig about the discipline of The Journey. Not a great song by any stretch, but an exercise in "being there". Feeling those emotions. Emotions I'm just soooooo far from. Good to know I can tap in so quickly. Something tells me those skills will be valuable again.
Would like to make some happier music though. ;-)