- 9:03 AM, Monday,
November 25th, 2013:
- If you're meant to
be a parent, I think you know, but I'm not sure you're
ever prepared for just, how, happy it can
- So it's a Saturday
morning and I built a little box fort in Vienna's play
area and we're been goin' back and forth and laughing
and having fun. She can also legit be tickled where
she laughs so hard she can't breathe which is a
milestone in any kid's life. Exhausted, from the box
tunnel and laughing she laid on my chest and sighed.
The perfect fit in the crook of my arm and I felt like
molasses. A warm sense of love that was so pure I
could only think of what others described as the pull
from the "white light" as they're floating to
heaven. You don't care that you're DYING
the pull is so strong.
- For me it isn't
actual death, but the death of nearly every pursuit
that was my career. I just want to be in that box
tunnel. Like, forever. I may go through the
motions here and there, I talk about it now and
again... but it's not like the fight isn't in me
anymore, I actively don't want it.
- (Yes, that
heavenly pull does indeed lessen when she screams for
15 minutes before bed.)
- That aside, I'm a
month away from 2 of these literal bundles of joy and
I can't fathom doubling this feeling. It's funny,
I used to think parents were so into their
children because of something lacking in their
marriage, but your heart does actually grow
exponentially (and mine wasn't too tiny to begin with)
and everything that was ever "you" vanishes. And
you're happy about that. That's the OTHER thing.
Everything single people say that is a negative about
marriage and kids? Isn't. I mean, of course it IS
if you didn't want to be married and you didn't want
kids... but when you're happily married you don't
think of kids as dream killers. You don't care if you
have sex every day because the constant need to
orgasm is a selfish pursuit. A fucking wonderful one,
no doubt, but the priority shifts. The thing is?
YOU SHIFT IT. Kids don't. You could argue
the kids force the shift, but we MADE the kids.
So the chicken or the egg argument ceases to exist. We
chose all of this and are thrilled. When you're single
and fearful of marriage (wow, that has never
been me - lol) you paint everything as a negative.
Remember that scene from When Harry Met
- When Joe and I
started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the
same thing. We wanted to live together, but we
didn't want to get married because every time
anyone we knew got married, it ruined their
relationship. They practically never had sex again.
It's true, it's one of the secrets that no one ever
tells you. I would sit around with my girlfriends
who have kids - and, actually, my one girlfriend
who has kids, Alice - and she would complain about
how she and Gary never did it anymore. She didn't
even complain about it, now that I think about it.
She just said it matter-of-factly. She said they
were up all night, they were both exhausted all the
time, the kids just took every sexual impulse they
had out of them. And Joe and I used to talk about
it, and we'd say we were so lucky we have this
wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the
kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking
in. We can fly off to Rome on a moment's notice.
And then one day I was taking Alice's little girl
for the afternoon because I'd promised to take her
to the circus, and we were in the cab playing "I
Spy" - I spy a mailbox, I spy a lamp-post - and she
looked out the window and she saw this man and this
woman with these two little kids. And the man had
one of the little kids on his shoulders, and she
said, "I spy a family." And I started to cry. You
know, I just started crying. And I went home, and I
said, "The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off to
Rome on a moment's notice."
- And the kitchen
- Not once. It's
this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic
- Ha. Now, did her
friend Alice actually say "we never do it"? Or did she
say "we often choose sleep over sex"? Sally catches
herself when she used "complain", but could the entire
conversation be her issue? Now listen, of course some
couples never do it and believe me, I may not
have the fight for my career? But guess what couple
will put Little Mermaid on for the 78th time and bang
in a closet while the kids watch TV if we have
to? It's the same couple that does indeed get so tired
that we go to bed too late and mumble to each other
"are we having sex yet?" as our last words before
sleep drowns us. And we joke about it the next
morning. Does that really sound sad to single people?
I have to rule myself out of this because even when
I was single I was in between marriages.
LOL. I mean, it was just always in me to be
married and have kids. Life just threw me some crazy
hands at the beginning. <shrugs> It's all in
place now, so, yay!
- But yeah,
I guess this is a conversation to have with
single people. Because I wonder if their opinion of
marriage is more than just running into unhappy
couples but a complete miscommunication of what
sounds bad to them - but is in fact a sign of
maturity and happiness. Obviously a combination of
both, but my mind is certainly shifting a bit. Dig
- So Jimmy came over
for the Buckeye game and we were on babysitting duty.
Which meant, let's make crazy basketball shots and
make sure the rebound doesn't hit my one year old in
the noggin'. (sigh) I swear I'm 13 some times.
Fun video though.
- The wall behind
the backboard is 9 feet for crying out loud. How he
got that over twice is beyond me. I have yet to.
- Alright, so
Thanksgiving! Tree! Buckeyes! What a week! Can't