4:08 PM, Monday, November 4th, 2013:
An idea for a niche in the music industry...
...except the music industry is insane, right? You simply cannot make money off it. Hit song on spotify? You make $16. Who buys iTunes downloads anymore? CDs? Are you kidding? So what the hell do I do with this idea?
I write about it, I upload this video... and then I move on. I think.
Every parent knows that no matter how madly in love with your baby you are, at some point? Your mind is looking for adult stimulation. You can sing the lullabies and rock him or her to sleep but if you're like me? You, well, you just start saying shit that only you get to make your spouse (or often just yourself) smile. Inevitably, for someone who spent years on the radio making parodies, you start singing THE most awful lyrics to nursery rhymes and lullabies because the kid is 5 months old and simply likes your voice...
...what if I made them slightly less awful, you know "Slightly Twisted Lullabies" that parents could actually sing to their kids and smile a bit? That would help right? 'Cause there is some mindless portions of that night where you just need some stimulation, but you do want to sing to your kid. So I present a lullaby I often sang to Vienna...
Now, admittedly, often what I really sang was the filthiest shit you've ever heard. But just once, I'm gonna hold back a bit and find that line of mildly innappropriate.
But again, why? In all seriousness. Do I start a kickstarter campaign for recording a 10 lullabye CD? I fucking HATE kickstarter campaigns, but it seems like the only way anyone, EVER, makes money producing music anymore. And GODDDDDDDDDD I don't have it in me to bug everyone for money to record something I can record for free. I mean I guess it's like pre-ordering the album but the concept is just annoying. I can't sell shit. I just want to give everything away and make people happy.
If only happy people fueled my electricity. Hmmm.