- 8:33 AM, Thursday,
September 19th, 2013:
- If this isn't a
cold dose of real-world reality for a kid,
I don't know what is...
- To say the
verrrrrrrry least... these were some tough flights.
Already unlucky enough to have SIX flights to get to
New York and back the kid learns to walk between
Flight 1 and 2?!?!? Oh dear jesus. Yeah, for a little
bit, we were THAT family with THAT kid.
I honestly have no idea how we got
- We were a little
bit spoiled by how well the flights to Columbus went
when she was 5 and 6 months old. The truth is, you can
distract a baby quite easy before she can walk or
crawl. Everything was exciting, everything was new.
Everything is new now... but it's her job to FIND that
everything and inspect it fully until SHE is
done. And at 11 1/2 months? You're just not telling
her otherwise. So rest assured, this will be the
last plane flight until both kids are a good
- I will say however
- "Baby Einstein" kinda saved are lives for a bit.
We've avoided TV and screens almost 100% her entire
life and man, in moments like this? It pays off.
Because now? It's goddamned magic. Downloaded some
"Baby Einstein" vids off YouTube and threw them
on the iPad and it saved those around us for a good
chunk of time. Oh but dude - this entry is about the
fact that she's walking. DURRRRH.
- So yeah, on August
25th, she took her first unassisted step and the next
few days it went as you saw in the video 2 maybe 3 and
then plop. As September rolled in she could pull off
more, but was so fast at crawling she saw no point. So
it continued with 3 or 4 (record was like 8) for
weeks. Thennnnn came Salt Lake City and the magic
potion for getting a kid that CAN walk to not
crawl: her holding something she won't let go of. THEN
it seems reasonable to her. That really was the key -
that packet of formula wasn't leaving her hands (until
the Asian Paparazzi came in) and off she went! Then we
THREW HER ON A PLANE WHERE SHE HAD TO SIT FOR HOURRRRRRS.
ER-Mah-GERRRD. Oh and on the Asian freaki-ness, yes
the lady asked and, well I didn't really see the
- ...but it got
weird. Like when the lady bends down to be in the
picture like she's Suri Cruise or some shit? I'm
thinking... great is she gonna be on a billboard
somewhere? LMAO. I didn't show the half of it on video
'cause I went into Papa Bear mode to protect her.
Like 5 or 6 with iPads and it was just nuts. Once they
saw one person do it - BOOM, bring it on. <shaking
head>. It was cute to a degree since they were so
obviously not from this country and Vienna symbolized
"cute American baby" to them, but I cannot
fathom that if an American did that in some Asian
country that it wouldn't be considered rude as fuck.
- First night at the
hotel was as to be expected: sleepless. She kept
waking up, not knowing where she was in the
pack-n-play and freaking out. I'd jump up and rub her
back and she'd go back to sleep. What, on earth, made
us think this was feasible at her age? For any fellow
parents out there, I know the "under 2 and you
fly free" thing is enticing, but after 6 months?
I think there's a window of 6-18 months where you
just caaaaaaaaan't do that shit. Maybe at 18 months
it's a bit easier because there's more things that can
keep them entertained other than WALKING AHHHHHH. But
shit, these little bastards need to be THREE before
I consider this shit again. Man I keep
getting sidetracked. Lack of sleep.
- So Vienna WALKS!
YAY! Not as terrified as I thought I'd be because
she's always supervised anyway, but I will tell you
this: Vienna is absolutely the kid that will do
EXACTLY what you say not to at least once... forever.
I yell "no" when she's at the outlet? She laughs
at me and takes off the cover. My "no" makes
TALYA pee her pants. Vienna is THE most
devilish little girl I have ever seen. Apparently only
Asians with cameras give her any pause. The terrbile
twos are gonna be intense with this one. Here's hopin'
Cameron counter balances that or we're gonna have to
rename them Bonnie & Clyde as they tear that house