8:33 AM, Thursday, September 19th, 2013:
If this isn't a cold dose of real-world reality for a kid, I don't know what is...
To say the verrrrrrrry least... these were some tough flights. Already unlucky enough to have SIX flights to get to New York and back the kid learns to walk between Flight 1 and 2?!?!? Oh dear jesus. Yeah, for a little bit, we were THAT family with THAT kid. I honestly have no idea how we got here.
We were a little bit spoiled by how well the flights to Columbus went when she was 5 and 6 months old. The truth is, you can distract a baby quite easy before she can walk or crawl. Everything was exciting, everything was new. Everything is new now... but it's her job to FIND that everything and inspect it fully until SHE is done. And at 11 1/2 months? You're just not telling her otherwise. So rest assured, this will be the last plane flight until both kids are a good deal older.
I will say however - "Baby Einstein" kinda saved are lives for a bit. We've avoided TV and screens almost 100% her entire life and man, in moments like this? It pays off. Because now? It's goddamned magic. Downloaded some "Baby Einstein" vids off YouTube and threw them on the iPad and it saved those around us for a good chunk of time. Oh but dude - this entry is about the fact that she's walking. DURRRRH.
So yeah, on August 25th, she took her first unassisted step and the next few days it went as you saw in the video 2 maybe 3 and then plop. As September rolled in she could pull off more, but was so fast at crawling she saw no point. So it continued with 3 or 4 (record was like 8) for weeks. Thennnnn came Salt Lake City and the magic potion for getting a kid that CAN walk to not crawl: her holding something she won't let go of. THEN it seems reasonable to her. That really was the key - that packet of formula wasn't leaving her hands (until the Asian Paparazzi came in) and off she went! Then we THREW HER ON A PLANE WHERE SHE HAD TO SIT FOR HOURRRRRRS. ER-Mah-GERRRD. Oh and on the Asian freaki-ness, yes the lady asked and, well I didn't really see the harm...
...but it got weird. Like when the lady bends down to be in the picture like she's Suri Cruise or some shit? I'm thinking... great is she gonna be on a billboard somewhere? LMAO. I didn't show the half of it on video 'cause I went into Papa Bear mode to protect her. Like 5 or 6 with iPads and it was just nuts. Once they saw one person do it - BOOM, bring it on. <shaking head>. It was cute to a degree since they were so obviously not from this country and Vienna symbolized "cute American baby" to them, but I cannot fathom that if an American did that in some Asian country that it wouldn't be considered rude as fuck. <shrugs>
First night at the hotel was as to be expected: sleepless. She kept waking up, not knowing where she was in the pack-n-play and freaking out. I'd jump up and rub her back and she'd go back to sleep. What, on earth, made us think this was feasible at her age? For any fellow parents out there, I know the "under 2 and you fly free" thing is enticing, but after 6 months? I think there's a window of 6-18 months where you just caaaaaaaaan't do that shit. Maybe at 18 months it's a bit easier because there's more things that can keep them entertained other than WALKING AHHHHHH. But shit, these little bastards need to be THREE before I consider this shit again. Man I keep getting sidetracked. Lack of sleep.
So Vienna WALKS! YAY! Not as terrified as I thought I'd be because she's always supervised anyway, but I will tell you this: Vienna is absolutely the kid that will do EXACTLY what you say not to at least once... forever. I yell "no" when she's at the outlet? She laughs at me and takes off the cover. My "no" makes TALYA pee her pants. Vienna is THE most devilish little girl I have ever seen. Apparently only Asians with cameras give her any pause. The terrbile twos are gonna be intense with this one. Here's hopin' Cameron counter balances that or we're gonna have to rename them Bonnie & Clyde as they tear that house UP.