12:49 PM, Tuesday, July 16th, 2013:
Last night I forgot I had been married before. It was just a second or two, but when Talya alluded to it I was genuinely confused for a moment.
<blink> Early onset alzheimers? Heavy drugs? Something heavy dropped on my head?
No, happiness.
Happiness so expected, so surrounding, so encompassing, and now for so many years that it blocks nearly every exit to your past. I can't even believe I'm typing this. I'm the guy that keeps his skeletons open and dancing around in public which not only shows others, but it reminds me of where I came from - always. But little by little, the hard times are becoming the minority of my brain. And this happiness is the new normal. My idea of "bad" days now are nearly comical in comparison to just how bad things were before. Honestly? I'm a little weaker because of it. The "problems" of 2013 are the caviar dreams of 2010.
And of course, then it happened: I actually, for such a long string of minutes/hours/days didn't think about the fact that anyone else ever shared this house or that I was ever in love before Talya. Her random mention of my past sounded so foreign I scrunched my forehead before I thought:  "Oh, right - that other life." Listen, maybe for those who read this as a nice little romantic online novel that seems perfectly acceptable and cute... but please understand, there is a marked difference between my day-to-day life and how it's documented here. I love writing my life like a book and weaving the tapestry but "day-to-day" is pretty "down-to-earth". Rather straight-forward. Cut and dry. Or in my case; cut, screw and stain. So this happening blows my ever-loving mind...
...which means I'm finally working like a normal human being. FINALLY. The Journey, for so long, had become this weight on my shoulders that I could never drop because my past was ever-present. Remember this picture from 2010?
I really didn't see a way around that. Even happiness would be tainted. Then again? I guess I had no idea what happiness really felt like. Because it truly does demolish your past. Man, I am only now processing how bad it got. Stunning where I'm standing a short time later. Whew.
Alright, happy entry, happy video - and of course it's the kid being fun.
Cannot believe that is my front yard.