So it's early, but
just like last time... they were able to nail the sex
down well before the 20 week ultrasound. And it's
actually far clearer than with Vienna...
So we're hoping
for a GRANDSON!
<snicker>
Clearly, I'm aware
of how this will make her feel someday and I've gone
back and forth on being honest or just shutting the
hell up. Guess what I chose. Heh. But the truth
is, if you actually understand what we're
bummed about it makes a bit more sense. It's about
being greedy, not that we don't like girls. If Vienna
was a boy and we found out we were having another boy?
We'd feel exactly the same. It's that initial
"bummer, would've been nice to raise a daughter"...
annnnnnnnd that's it. I adore Vienna and I'm
just as excited about raising a strong confident woman
as I would a strong confident man. I simply know
it's a vastly different experience with different
sexes and both Talya and I were excited to experience
it. We won't. And I guess, if we really wanted it
we could work our asses off, buy a new house try again
or adopt...
...but we won't do
that. We love our house, we love our life and trying
to live beyond your means is the best way to
not love your life. I'm a big believer in floating
downstream and how silly is it to spend more than a
minute thinking about something you have no
control over?!?!!? We'll have a ball with 2 girls a
year apart. And I am extremely proud of my role as a
role-model to my soon-to-be daughters of what a good
man is and how a loving relationship works. It's the
greatest role I've ever known. So whatever
disappointment I have in not knowing what it's
like to raise a son? Is replaced immediately with the
excitement of the completion of our family.
I've also always been
in tune with the female mind as a bi-product of being
raised by a single mom. When guys joke that they can't
understand what women are thinking, I always bite
my tongue. I can never understand what MEN are
thinking half the time. <shrugs> I was
destined to have daughters and I love it.
There is another
angle that has been in the back of my head ever since
we got pregnant last year... would I be a difficult
father to have for a boy? Ugh, this is embarrassing,
but it is the pink elephant in the room and this site
is full of me tackling those. (sigh) Even in
relationships? I've had issues with how it makes my
significant other feel when literally
everything I pick up and try, I do
very well. It's fucking annoying. It's a running joke
with Talya and her mother and honestly? That's not fun
very to live with. I do everything I can to take
the spotlight off me but even that makes Talya roll
her eyes sometimes. And we're equals in the scheme of
things! When you're a kid and a notch below in the
order of the house? That can suuuuuuuuck. And as a boy
you automatically want to be like your dad. Ugh. If it
was only one area? Not an issue as the kid can find
his niche to excel and surpass me. But seriously, even
I'm annoyed that I decide to build a house - and do
it. Or that I'm a good singer or songwriter or I'm
good at sports and then can paint and draw and can
write or have a good vocabulary, etc. I can't
even imagine how much pressure he'd feel no matter
what I did to show that it doesn't really matter.
A daughter? She won't draw the same parallels with me.
If anything it may make her dating life hell (which is
AWESOME), but she'll be fine. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh believe
me, I'm gonna have fun with those boys though
considering the sway of society and my knack for being
surrounded by women, they'll probably marry other
women. :-)
And also at the 20
week ultrasound, maybe it's a boy and then
I really have to deal with this.
I guess I'm just saying there's a positive to
another girl especially if the boy would've been as
oversensitive as I was growing up. It had really
been nagging at me and I don't feel that stress with a
daughter. I guess that's sexist, right? Like a
daughter can't do anything a son can? Not what
I mean, it will be my joy in life to make my
daughter redefine gender roles, but the point is - if
she isn't good at something I am, she will never
take it as personally as a son would. She won't
constantly be trying to live up to me in the same way
because even if she's attempting what society says is
"male dominated" and I happen to excel in it she will
automatically have a fresh angle on it as a woman.
Kinda awesome. I'm very excited about all the things
she and her sister will get into. And seriously, mark
my words, they will win a GolfKon Major against the
adults.
Alrighty. One man,
a wife, 2 girls, 2 girl dogs... In 13 years
I very well may be living in the GolfKon
Guesthouse.
