Wow. What a
tumultuous and eye-opening weekend that was. Still
can't believe it's all over...
So as I believe I
mentioned, Jimmy finally had to move to Anaheim as the
commute to Disneyland was made even more ridiculous
with a new construction project on the 5 that killed
his "night driving scheme." But, I mean... WOW, who
were we kidding? Dude was driving to freaking ANAHEIM
- upwards to 2 hours each way every day for WORK.
I thought he was nuts in December when he started
and gave him 3 months before he gave in. He lasted 3
1/2. :-) We won't see a lot from Jimmy for a bit as he
gets adjusted to a new life (4 dudes in one 2-bedroom
apartment, whew), but he's still the closest Kontras
around. :-)
So that meant it
was renting time for The GolfKon Guesthouse. As usual,
I threw up a status on Facebook because clearly, I'd
rather have someone I know living in my
backyard... and I instantly found someone. Incredibly,
the son of a guy I worked with at CD101 now lives
in LA... and is 30? Uhm, what the fuck? He was a
teenage high school kid back, well, back in 1998. 15
goddamn years ago.
(sigh)
He came by, loved
it, was being moved to a salary position at work and
would have the money to me by that
Friday...
...and then that
Friday came and went, they kept him at hourly and he
couldn't get ahold of anyone to give him an
explanation. Nor did he even know what the salary WAS.
Welcome to the business world. "Hey you're being
promoted to full-time salary!" "Thanks! How much!"
"Don't know exactly, you'll see it on your next
check!"
Or you won't. And
you won't get straight answers. And you'll be
completely screwed. So he finally calls me on Thursday
(nearly 2 weeks after he said he wanted it) and said
he needed a couple more weeks. I told him I had
to go forward and put up an ad and show the place.
I still wanted him there since we had a
connection, but DADDY GOT BILLZ. My mortgage
bank doesn't give a fuck.
I was
super-bummed though, because my chances of getting
someone on May 1st (6 days from then) was incredibly
slim. I put up an ad on Facebook again, now with some
pics of all the renovations on Friday morning and then
that night I put an ad on
Craigslist...
Holy. Fuck.
Balls.
In 12 hours I got
a dozen "I want to see this ASAP" emails and by the
time I had to take the ad down less than 24 hours
later? 30. I booked all day Saturday with people
coming by on the hour and was filling up Sunday when
I simply couldn't take it anymore. Every person
that came by said: "I can move in
RIGHT NOW." I know I posted it kinda on the cheap
side, but I had NO idea just how crazy rents in
LA had gotten. And people were ON that shit.
Like, email, book time, come see it - INSTANTLY. Ready
to hand me cash. From talking to them, apparently
places just go super-fast. The economy is
absolutely turning around in LA. Which means
the rest of the country isn't far behind.
And of course this
is where my heart comes in: these people had
legitimately tough situations they had to get out of.
Apparently scummmmmmmmmmmmmbags are now renting their
house out DURING foreclosure and not telling
people? So when there's literally days left until the
locks go on the place, they grab 2 months rent from
people and bail? It's unbelievable. And yet demand for
a place to live is so high, they literally have to
take my word that I have indeed had this house for 10
years and have never even been late on a payment.
I mean, with my real-estate background I know
there's ways they can find out the status of a
property, but who knows that? Just really rough. By
the 5th person that wanted this place I was done.
I cancelled all but 2 appointments, took down the
ad and tried to narrow it down.
Oddly, we ended up
with a guy who both Talya and I really liked and when
he came back to settle up it dawned on him that he not
only had more clothing than any woman I've ever known
- he could have made the entire guesthouse a walk-in
closet. 600 square feet to boot. He was moving from
NYC and his stuff was in storage here in LA... so
obviously when he looked at he thought: "DAMN!
Look at all this space!" (in comparison to
Manhattan)... but then he remembered he wanted to get
rid of all that shit and he just shook his head.
"Dude, I have suits, coats, shirts..." (he models
and is an actor) "...I've got 20 something pairs of
sneakers."
I gave him some
shit for that.
And alas, there
was just no way. However, he's one of those people
that you know is supposed to come into your life for a
reason. I will figure out what that reason is, but it
isn't tenant. So little by little it came down to a
single musician and a newly married couple who was
ALSO in the midst of the "owners" getting evicted and
they had to get out...
...with
ONE wrinkle. One big, loveable,
wrinkle:
WOOKATHAT OLD PUP.
No one loves a big
old dog as much as me, and this one is as sweet as can
be...
...but, wow. I
already have 2 well-trained dogs that poop in the
corner of the yard and don't mess with GolfKon. And
this dog is 125 pounds EASY. So we had some playdates.
Whew...
Here's the good
news, even though CeBe and LeeLoo spazzed at first?
The old dog (JD) doesn't give a shit. CeBe & Loo
played their little attempted alpha dominant
games and JD just sniffed at them and moved on.
Eventually? My pups just got bored. They couldn't get
a rise out of him. Now if he starts pouncing to play?!
They freak out again because you see this Marmaduke
dog getting ready to play and it looks like he's going
to DESTROY YOU... but it's really just a matter
of time. They eventually calm down and the good thing
is? JD cannot get through their doggie door so it
makes our house CeBe and LeeLoo's domain. They don't
seem stressed at all anymore. I'm sure there'll be a
few more moments between them as they get used to
everything, but there really is enough room for the
three of them. And although the other single-dude was
a more convenient fit as he didn't have any pets? They
offered a bit more money and, well, the clincher was
JD's owner used to do construction. Looked at the
walls in the guesthouse and said: "Oh yeah,
I can make this look perfect. Totally for free.
I'll be happy to help you."
Help? With all
these goddamn renovations? REAL HELP? Yeah, you
had me at HEL. And the truth of the matter is? Talya
and I enjoyed their company and they are very peaceful
and fair people. I tried to read into every story they
were both telling and a couple things said "float
downstream" more than once. If you search out peace?
You'll eventually run into like-minded people. I
believe we have a match.
Of course once you
do? Then you have to contact all the OTHER people
and it's absolutely horrible. The only other guy we
were seriously considering came after the
couple and there's this awkward "blind first
date" feel as you're trying to gauge if you get
along as fast as possible. It's like being a casting
director and I have to go into my inner-asshole to
JUDGE you and I freaking hate it. I have
spent a life-time getting RID of judgements, but this
is my house, my family, my wife, my DAUGHTER - I'm
gonna judge you HARDCORE. So I finally called or
texted everyone that was outstanding and most were
very understanding.
You do all that,
and it becomes an entry and a video:
And The Journey
moves on. Hopefully my role as "Kingmaker" takes a
looooooooooong time off. Congrats to the new couple
who found a new home. Talya and I are happy to welcome
you.
