8:32 PM, Tuesday, January 1st, 2013:
The second kid is in trouble. Especially for a guy who hates repeating himself. What is mystifying now will be "oh yeah, I remember when Vienna did that." for kid 2. Immediately old hat. I'll find a way to make it special no matter what, but we're stopping at 2, 'cause proposal ideas got really freaking hard so I can only imagine documenting children.
I am getting ahead of myself...
I'll let the video explain...
Right? I can't act like I'm surprised here which is honestly? Why I became a father at 37 and not 27. I knew it would completely flip my focus and I would have a zillion what-ifs. At 37, I have hardly any so I'm LOVIN' THIS SHIT. I guess for the sake of The Journey I'm gonna have to get into me and what 2013 holds but the whole concept seems so foreign to me. I mean legit career stuff? Was over 3 years ago. The vlogging stuff this year was cool, the movie review in 2011 was nice, maybe if I could've stomached the editing to get it copyright ready I could've gotten a few awards at a few festivals... but actual career opportunity is over 3 years ago and actually WORKING in the industry? September '07. To say it has passed me by is to say the very least. It doesn't take a stretch of the imagination to see that. 2010 drowned every ounce of fight I had left. In fact, THAT year is a movie. Whew.
So if I'm forced to not think about my kid for a few minutes here I will say this: I miss it. I miss creating artistically in the mainstream sense. Meaning, I may find GolfKon "art" but I miss MUSIC. SINGING. Performing. I desperately miss The Egos. I miss short, funny films. I miss parodies. I miss using those parts of me that are so out of shape I wonder if I even have it anymore. I look at some of the stuff I did in the '00s and I shake my head. How the hell did I EVER pull all of that off by myself? Then again, what I did construction wise in 2012 is the same thing, just in a different area. Funny, I guess I still am the most productive man in the world. Ha. And, well - I even kept The Journey going throughout all of it. Not bad.
I am, however, back to square one when it comes to where I fit in the industry. While that was amusing at 24 when I came out here, I turn 38 this year and, well - parts of this industry will allude me. I wasn't kidding in 2009 during the Comedy Central Pilot when I said "This is It". And, I really don't even belabor that point because I know I did everything my body could do to "make it". I got incredible exposure on CBS for a year, I was offered a HUGE show following Fergusen... everything lined up and it simply fell through thanks to the politics of a network that had absolutely nothing to do with me. So, there is no woe is me... I love the shit I pulled off - it's a great story and I had a helluva time. Going forward however?
It always has just come to me. I soak in enough pop culture, I watch enough stuff, I put myself in awkward situations and suddenly I see things from a different angle and BOOM there's a path. Until then? I'm excited to get back to being musical, being inspired, writing and making entertaining videos and finding my voice. I like me. I like my story, I like what I've done. I'll continue to do that. I'll continue to pursue opportunities and I'll continue to fall up the stairs. Will I go slower career-wise? Of COURSE I WILL. I'm not MISERABLE. I'm not hungry in the least. I adore my home life, I adore my family and that will absolutely slow my "Dreams" down...
...but who gives a shit? I'm HAPPY. Hahahahaha. Like, what the fuck ever. Call me a failure! I'll be the failure who is so happy I tear up on a daily basis at how lucky I am.
Alright, so did I do it? Did I talk about what 2013 will bring my career? Can I go play with my kid now? But in all seriousness, that's what is indeed missing from The Journey these past couple of years. A truly legitimate jumping and scheming of career things. Chronicling that along with my personal life is what has kept things flowing swimmingly for, well, now my 14th year doing this.
14th. Year. Doing this.
There's a reason I've kept it up this long and will continue to: it will inevitably be what I am notable for, without a doubt. It's my thing. It's my baby. And I take care of it the same way I take care of my actual baby: with love, respect and the deepest gratitude for the privilege of getting to do it.
To the 1300s!!!