The second kid is
in trouble. Especially for a guy who hates repeating
himself. What is mystifying now will be "oh yeah, I
remember when Vienna did that." for kid 2. Immediately
old hat. I'll find a way to make it special no matter
what, but we're stopping at 2, 'cause proposal ideas
got really freaking hard so I can only imagine
documenting children.
Ha.
I am getting ahead
of myself...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I'll let the video
explain...
Right? I can't act
like I'm surprised here which is honestly? Why I
became a father at 37 and not 27. I knew it would
completely flip my focus and I would have a zillion
what-ifs. At 37, I have hardly any so I'm LOVIN'
THIS SHIT. I guess for the sake of The Journey
I'm gonna have to get into me and what 2013 holds but
the whole concept seems so foreign to me. I mean legit
career stuff? Was over 3 years ago. The vlogging stuff
this year was cool, the movie review in 2011 was nice,
maybe if I could've stomached the editing to get it
copyright ready I could've gotten a few awards at
a few festivals... but actual career opportunity is
over 3 years ago and actually WORKING in the industry?
September '07. To say it has passed me by is to say
the very least. It doesn't take a stretch of the
imagination to see that. 2010 drowned every ounce of
fight I had left. In fact, THAT year is a movie.
Whew.
So if I'm forced
to not think about my kid for a few minutes here
I will say this: I miss it. I miss creating
artistically in the mainstream sense. Meaning,
I may find GolfKon "art" but I miss MUSIC.
SINGING. Performing. I desperately miss The Egos.
I miss short, funny films. I miss parodies.
I miss using those parts of me that are so out of
shape I wonder if I even have it anymore. I
look at some of the stuff I did in the '00s and
I shake my head. How the hell did I EVER
pull all of that off by myself? Then again, what I did
construction wise in 2012 is the same thing, just in a
different area. Funny, I guess I still am
the most productive man in the world. Ha. And, well -
I even kept The Journey going throughout all of it.
Not bad.
I am, however,
back to square one when it comes to where I fit
in the industry. While that was amusing at 24 when
I came out here, I turn 38 this year and, well -
parts of this industry will allude me. I wasn't
kidding in 2009 during the Comedy Central Pilot when
I said "This is It". And, I really don't even
belabor that point because I know I did
everything my body could do to "make it". I got
incredible exposure on CBS for a year, I was
offered a HUGE show following Fergusen... everything
lined up and it simply fell through thanks to the
politics of a network that had absolutely nothing to
do with me. So, there is no woe is me... I love
the shit I pulled off - it's a great story and I
had a helluva time. Going forward however?
It always has just
come to me. I soak in enough pop culture,
I watch enough stuff, I put myself in awkward
situations and suddenly I see things from a
different angle and BOOM there's a path. Until then?
I'm excited to get back to being musical, being
inspired, writing and making entertaining videos and
finding my voice. I like me. I like my story,
I like what I've done. I'll continue to do that.
I'll continue to pursue opportunities and I'll
continue to fall up the stairs. Will I go slower
career-wise? Of COURSE I WILL. I'm not MISERABLE.
I'm not hungry in the least. I adore my home
life, I adore my family and that will absolutely
slow my "Dreams" down...
...but who gives a
shit? I'm HAPPY. Hahahahaha. Like, what the fuck ever.
Call me a failure! I'll be the failure who is so happy
I tear up on a daily basis at how lucky I am.
Alright, so did
I do it? Did I talk about what 2013 will bring my
career? Can I go play with my kid now? But in all
seriousness, that's what is indeed missing from The
Journey these past couple of years. A truly legitimate
jumping and scheming of career things. Chronicling
that along with my personal life is what has
kept things flowing swimmingly for, well, now my 14th
year doing this.
14th. Year. Doing
this.
There's a reason
I've kept it up this long and will continue to: it
will inevitably be what I am notable for, without a
doubt. It's my thing. It's my baby. And I take
care of it the same way I take care of my actual
baby: with love, respect and the deepest gratitude for
the privilege of getting to do it.
